


In a Palace by the Lake

by celeste9



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Dancing Lessons, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Jedi Finn, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Pining, Plotty, Prince Finn, Romance, Royalty, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-08-22 02:08:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 35,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8268724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celeste9/pseuds/celeste9
Summary: When Poe gets sent on a diplomatic mission with Finn, he assumes he’s in for a relatively simple, maybe even fun couple of weeks. That changes when the king and queen begin to claim that Finn is actually their son and Poe realizes that he may need to make a choice between his happiness and Finn’s, between the Resistance and remaining by the side of the man he has admitted only to himself that he loves.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Many months ago I saw a post on Tumblr of some piece of SW promotional material from another country that claimed Finn was actually the prince of Artorias. When the stormpilot big bang sign-ups came around, I figured that would be the perfect opportunity to write my secretly a prince Finn fic. Of course, 35,000 words later the big bang's been canceled and I thus have no art and no built-in audience for this, but I have a finished fic anyway that I hope people will enjoy. So, so many thanks to deinonychus_1 for the doing the beta, she continues to get stuck with all my SW fic that ends up 3+ times as long as it was supposed to be. *g* I would also like to point out that I nearly called this 'The Epic Pining of Poe Dameron', which should give you a good idea of what this fic is like, lol.
> 
> This fic is finished and I hope to post a chapter every other day.

Sitting in the pilot’s seat with Finn next to him, watching the blurred stars through the viewport as they traveled at hyperspeed, Poe could honestly say he had a good feeling about this. A cushy diplomatic jaunt as Finn’s escort, what could be better?

The request had come in about a week ago, a transmission from the king of Artorias, a wooded planet on the Outer Rim. He wanted to discuss his planet’s future, the possibility of an alliance with the Resistance, and he wanted to discuss it with Finn.

Finn, in particular.

When General Organa had called Finn into a meeting to tell him as much, Poe had thought Finn’s eyes might actually bug out of his head. He had agreed, eventually, of course, but that air of bewilderment still lingered. Poe was just happy he’d been on base, honestly, and that Leia had indulged Finn’s request that Poe serve as both his pilot and his escort.

There were usually formal dinners during this sort of thing. Poe sure wouldn’t mind seeing Finn all cleaned up, dressed in Poe’s nicest clothes, loaned specially for the occasion as there hadn’t been time for Finn to get anything of his own.

It wasn’t like Poe needed them. He had his dress uniform. No one else needed to know the visceral thrill Poe got from seeing Finn wear his clothes, the pants always _just_ too tight, to account for Finn’s more muscular build.

So, right, anyway. Definitely no one needed to know about that.

“I still don’t understand why they asked for me,” Finn said, chin in his hand, a variation of the sentiment Poe had heard more times than he could count.

“You’re famous, buddy. Better get used to it.”

“You’re famous, Poe, more than me, you’re… And Leia, and Luke, and let’s face it. Half the Resistance is famous. I still get droids coming up to me in the hall and asking if I’m lost.”

Poe chuckled. “Just enjoy it, Finn. These diplomatic missions, they’re practically vacations. Sure, there’s a lot of protocol to follow and boring meetings and you’ve got to worry about not saying the wrong thing, but at the end of the day it’s fancy dinners and being introduced to a new culture and people trying to impress you. Better than hiking through the swamps on Dagobah.”

Which was what Rey was currently doing. Apparently Jedi training was not as much fun as Poe had been led to believe.

“Anything’s better than that,” Finn agreed. “Poor Rey.”

“At least we’ll have a good story for her.”

“Yeah,” Finn said, smiling, and he didn’t need to say anything for Poe to know how much he was looking forward to that, how much he missed Rey. “Do you think anything’s actually gonna come from this? They’re way out on the Outer Rim. First Order’s not got much presence there.”

“Depends on how afraid they are,” Poe answered. 

He had learned not to count on anything ever going the Resistance’s way, but if this worked out it would be a big win. It would give them an ally in the Outer Rim, a refuge and a launching point, as well as the guarantee of King Caled’s support, the opening of supply lines and trade routes. Artorias was a peace-loving planet but they had helped the Rebel Alliance during the Rebellion. Poe hoped name-dropping Leia Organa would help put them in the king’s good graces.

Then again, their biggest asset was likely Finn himself. The man who had broken free of the First Order to become a rebel hero, the man King Caled had personally asked to speak with.

The Resistance was likely already in the king’s good graces.

Said rebel hero, however, was yawning hugely, blinking big brown eyes, prompting Poe to suggest, “Hey, why don’t you get some rest? Nothing you can do up here. I’ll wake you when we’re about to come out of hyperspace.”

“I can keep you company,” Finn offered.

“Tempting,” Poe said, because it really was, “but who knows when we’ll get a break like this again? You barely had any time off after that scouting trip; I know you’ve gotta be exhausted. Believe me, I’ve spent enough long hours in space to manage while you’re sleeping. Go take a nap. I insist,” he added, forestalling any further protestations.

Finn looked as though he wanted to argue anyway, but then seemed to arrive at the decision that he was, in fact, too tired to bother. “All right. But you’ll wake me?”

“Absolutely.”

Thus satisfied, Finn nodded and got up from his chair, walking down the ramp out of the cockpit and into the small lounge area in the back of the freighter.

“Night night,” Poe called after him, inwardly wincing.

“Night night,” he repeated to himself. “What is wrong with you, Dameron?”

Poe was under no illusions that his embarrassing crush on Finn wasn’t sad and pathetic. Jess and Karé were constantly rolling their eyes at him and every time Poe blurted out something stupid, there was a second of torturous dread while he waited for Finn’s appalled reaction.

Only Finn always remained completely oblivious, cheerfully accepting Poe’s oddities. So that was a plus, Poe supposed. Except for the part of Poe that wished someday Finn _would_ notice _,_ and maybe not be appalled after all.

Because the other thing that was torturous was the way Finn grinned at him, the way Finn would happily slouch against him while they watched holofilms, the way Finn licked his lips when he ate, the way… Poe was dying here, okay, and he wanted Finn to be his friend, always, he did, he wouldn’t give that up for anything, but it was just… hard, sometimes.

Poe hadn’t been this stupid over someone in a long time.

Though he tried to focus on what was ahead of them when they reached Artorias, Poe’s thoughts insisted on lingering on Finn. Truly sad and pathetic, that was for sure.

True to his word, however, Poe got up to wake Finn when it was time, when the navigation systems told him they were nearing the drop out of hyperspace. Poe walked down the ramp, finding Finn in the back.

Finn was curled up on the too-small bench, his head pillowed on one arm while his other hand reached towards the floor. Poe crouched beside him, hesitating for a few long moments before stroking his fingers lightly over Finn’s shoulder.

Frag, he was beautiful.

“Finn,” Poe said, beyond sorry that he had to wake him. “Finn, time to wake up.”

Grumbling faintly, Finn’s eyes creaked open. “Hmmm?”

Something in Poe felt like it was crumbling, slain by Finn’s adorable little boy tiredness, his peaceful expression melting into mildly irritated befuddlement. “Sorry. We’re nearly there.”

“’m up,” Finn mumbled, pressing into Poe’s hand. “I’m up, Poe, promise.”

Poe should have stopped touching Finn a while ago. Too late now. He wondered how weird it would be to draw his hand back now and then decided leaving it there would be weirder. So he took it back. He swallowed. “Meet you up in the cockpit,” he managed to say before he devolved into a gaping, sputtering idiot at the sight of a rumpled, sleepy Finn, saying Poe’s name in that low, rough tone.

_Finn, with that wide grin, limbs spread, sprawled over Poe’s sheets, dark skin bare -_

Poe shook his head, once, quickly, trying to physically jar the images out of his mind. He sprang to his feet and pointedly did not run back to the cockpit because he was not fleeing, hell, no, he wasn’t, Poe Dameron did not flee. Poe Dameron took things as they came, up to and including this overwhelming desire for the man who had saved his life that he couldn’t seem to shake.

He had mostly recovered by the time Finn came stumbling in, dropping into the copilot’s seat, still blinking sleep from his eyes.

Poe felt a soft smile stretch across his face as he watched Finn, all the fondness he had for him bubbling up. “Better?”

“Better,” Finn agreed. “You were right; I needed that. Wouldn’t do to fall asleep while we’re meeting our hosts, right?”

“Probably wouldn’t make the best first impression.”

“It’d be pretty bad if they asked for me personally and I completely embarrassed myself,” Finn said, and if he’d meant it lightly he’d totally failed. Finn’s anxiety was all too clear.

Reaching his hand over to reassuringly squeeze Finn’s thigh, Poe said, “You’re gonna do great, buddy.”

“At least one of us thinks so.”

“Hey, I believe in you. You busted me off a Star Destroyer. Pretty sure that means you can do anything.”

Finn smiled back at Poe, almost reluctantly, but genuine nevertheless. “As long as I have you with me.”

That was it, Poe was melting. Kriffing hell. Poe made himself turn away, fiddling with the controls so he would have something to concentrate on that wasn’t Finn and his sweet smile, Finn’s open, easy affection and regard.

Poe eased the ship through the drop out of hyperspace, grateful for the distraction away from how much he wanted to press Finn back against his seat, kiss his mouth, kiss every inch of him.

As they flew into atmosphere, breaking through the cloud cover as they soared lower, the forests of Artorias stretched out below. Trees and green and rolling hills as far as the eye could see, blue lakes and buildings of white stone.

“Damn,” Finn said, eyes glued to the viewport, breathing out slowly. “Rey would love it here.”

Poe stopped himself from saying, _beautiful,_ while he looked at Finn rather than the planet, but it was a near thing. _Damn it, Dameron,_ he thought to himself. _You’re a walking cliché._

They were given clearance to land in the spaceport, the tech sounding crisp and calm in faintly accented Basic.

“Well, here goes,” Poe said, throwing his arm around Finn’s shoulders in solidarity as Finn looked at him, wide-eyed and nervous.

They walked out of the freighter like that, side-by-side, though Poe let his arm slide away from Finn’s shoulders as they were greeted by a dark-haired woman with a serious face, fine lines spider-webbing out around her eyes and her thin mouth. She nodded to them politely. “Gentlemen, allow me to welcome you to Artorias. I am Ambassador Suna Lee.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Ambassador,” Poe said, taking her hand and bowing over it rather than shaking it, as his research into their customs had informed him was proper. “I’m Commander Poe Dameron of the Resistance and this is Finn.”

The ambassador fixed Finn with a stare so intense as to almost be unnerving. “Finn, yes, of course. King Caled and Queen Miri are so eager to meet you.”

Finn fidgeted under the scrutiny. “Great. Yeah, fantastic. Can’t wait.”

He couldn’t have sounded less enthusiastic if he’d tried. Luckily Ambassador Lee didn’t seem bothered. “We’ve arranged for you to stay in the palace, in a suite with adjoining bedrooms. I hope that will suffice?”

Was it terrible that Poe sort of wished there might have been extenuating circumstances which meant there would only be one room to spare and he and Finn would have to share? He was pretty sure it was terrible. “That sounds great, thank you.”

“Excellent. We’ll go there now, let you settle in before meeting King Caled and Queen Miri.”

Poe surreptitiously gave Finn’s fingers a squeeze. “We’re looking forward to it.”

They journeyed to the palace in this clearly brand new, luxury speeder that Poe was just itching to fly, though he made himself take the passenger seat he was offered. Scrambling in after him, Finn was grinning in a way that made Poe certain Finn knew exactly what was going through his head. 

Honestly Poe was just relieved to see the return of Finn’s good humor, even if only momentarily.

They didn’t speak, content to watch the scenery as they sped past. Artorias was as beautiful from the ground as it had been from the sky, clean air, dappled sunlight, bright, colorful flowers.

And the palace, well. It was constructed upon the side of a hill beside a lake, made of that same white stone they had seen from the freighter. It was old, clearly, but old in a way that was charming, moss and vines trailing up the weathered stones, no longer pure white. Birds flitted about, chirping and cawing.

“Imagine,” Finn said, that same breathless tone from earlier. “People live there.”

From the front of the speeder, the ambassador glanced at Finn, an oddly knowing expression in her eyes.

Aides from the palace carried their bags in, which Finn seemed desperately embarrassed by. The interior was appealing in almost a comfortable way, less pure spectacle and more elegant function. Large windows and high ceilings, colorful paintings, flowers everywhere. 

Their suite was much the same. The furniture actually looked inviting, a huge, cushioned sofa, a round wooden table for dining, desks by the windows within the two bedrooms.

Also, the beds. Poe was going to sleep so damn well in that bed, he knew, and possibly he would never leave it.

The ambassador left them alone, promising to send in an aide to fetch them for their meeting with the king and queen in an hour. That would give them enough time to clean up, which Poe was grateful for. He wouldn’t want to meet royalty smelling of sweat and engines.

Poe let Finn use the ‘fresher first. This was clearly a mistake, as Finn came out in a cloud of steam, still faintly dripping, his chest bare and a towel around his waist. 

Poe’s gaze traitorously dropped to Finn’s hips before he forced it up again. He licked his lips self-consciously, swallowing. 

“Uh, you can get in?” Finn said. “I’ll get dressed in my room.”

Poe was still staring. Damn it. “Right, yeah, I’ll do that, thanks,” he said, practically bolting into the ‘fresher and closing the door behind him. 

He hadn’t even brought his shampoo. He was such an idiot.

Luckily the ‘fresher was well-stocked for guests and while Poe was ordinarily fussy about what he put in his hair, he figured he could trust the hair products provided by the staff of a palace, particularly when said staff was looking to accommodate their guests in every way possible. Smelled amazing, too, when Poe took a sniff of one of the bottles.

After he got out, he fled into his bedroom and got dressed, carefully double- and triple-checking his clothes for holes and stains and anything else that might embarrass him. He settled into his pilot’s jacket, gave his hair one last check, and then went to find Finn.

Finn who was out on the probably obscenely comfortable sofa, wearing Poe’s old jacket. The one Poe had slaved over repairing and that still didn’t look _quite_ right.

That was what Finn wanted to wear when he got introduced to a king.

Poe’s face must have given him away because Finn sprang up, tugging at the end of the jacket. “Is it okay, do you think? It’s only that… I’m so nervous, Poe, and I don’t want to mess this up, and your jacket-- my jacket-- it makes me feel, er, better. Safe. You know? It’s familiar, and it makes me think of-- anyway, it makes me less nervous.”

Finn was blushing. It was kriffing adorable.

Poe was trying not to think about how Finn had just admitted to using Poe’s old jacket as what amounted to a security blanket. He was also trying not to think about how much he _really_ liked it when Finn wore Poe’s clothes.

“You look great, buddy,” Poe said. “You’re gonna do fine.”

While he didn’t relax, exactly, some of the tension left Finn’s body. “Yeah, well, here goes nothing,” he said, as a knock sounded on the door, presumably the aide who had come to fetch them.

They walked to the throne room side by side, their arms brushing against each other now and again. Poe hoped Finn felt reassured. 

There were guards standing on either side of the huge carved doors that led into the throne room and neither even so much as glanced towards Finn or Poe. 

“Hey, pal,” Poe muttered to the one closest to him, but got no reaction.

Ambassador Lee was waiting for them inside and she looked Finn and Poe up and down, assessing, though her expression gave no indication of her thoughts. “Gentlemen,” she murmured, stretching her arm towards the seated figures at the back of the room. “King Caled and Queen Miri. Please, approach.”

Poe went first, Finn sort of stiffly jarring himself into motion so as not to be left behind. As they got closer, the king and queen stood.

They were dressed in loose, bright clothing of exquisite fabric, colorful and soft-looking. Their only adornments were the thin golden rings resting atop their heads, made to resemble interlocking leaves. They were dark-skinned, like Finn, their bearing straight but their faces somehow warm and the king… the king… 

“Finn,” Poe said, nudging him. “Finn, don’t you think the king looks a lot like you?”

Before Finn could respond the queen was actually bounding towards them, lifting up the folds of her dress so her feet wouldn’t catch in the hem. She stopped just before Finn, while her husband followed after at a more dignified pace.

Startled, Poe tried to remember the protocol for this. “Your Majesties,” he said, bending forward in a small bow. “I’m Commander Poe Dameron and this is--”

“Caled, oh, Caled,” the queen was saying, her eyes bright as she held one wavering hand towards Finn. It was clear that she wasn’t referring to her husband.

“My name is Finn, actually,” Finn said, though he sounded startled and uncertain. He darted wide eyes over to Poe.

“I know it’s you,” the queen continued on as though no one else had spoken. “Oh, I’d know you anywhere. Caled, my son, my boy.” Tears were leaking down her cheeks and she turned momentarily towards her husband the king before looking back at Finn. “Can’t you see? He is our son!”

“Uh, your what?” Poe asked.

Finn seemed almost frightened, backing away from the queen as she reached to touch his face. “I don’t know who you guys have me mistaken for but I’m definitely not him. My name is Finn and I was a stormtrooper; no way I could be your son.”

“Please,” said the king, resting his hand on his wife’s shoulder. “Allow us to explain. We may have led you here under false pretenses and for that I apologize. We heard of you, of your defection from the First Order, and when we saw your face on the holonews…”

“Our son was stolen from us,” the queen continued, visibly holding her emotions in check. “Long ago, when he was only a toddler. We saw you and we thought… we hoped…” She took another step towards Finn. “Your eyes, it was your eyes.”

“I’m, uh, I’m not…” Finn coughed to clear his throat. “I really don’t want to ruffle any feathers here but I don’t know what you guys are talking about. I’m Finn, okay, I came from the First Order, and before that I--”

“Came from us,” the queen said, taking Finn’s face in her hands, and looking into his eyes. “Please,” she said softly. “Please say you know me. Say you know me like I know you.”

For several long moments they stayed like that, locked into each other’s gazes, and then Finn wrestled himself away. “I’m sorry, I… Sorry, I need to go.” He turned around and ran out of the room, ignoring Ambassador Lee as he fled past her.

Poe watched him and then turned back to the king and queen. King Caled had taken his wife into his arms and both appeared stricken. “I am so, so sorry,” Poe said, wishing he could be anywhere but where he was. “Please forgive our--”

“No need, Commander,” the king said, voice thick. “We understand. Go after your friend. Please tell him… Tell him that whenever he is ready, we will tell him whatever he wants to know.”

“Sorry,” Poe muttered again, half-stumbling into a hurried bow before running after Finn. 

Leia was never going to allow him on another diplomatic mission for the rest of his life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The HoloNet is from the old EU that's not canon anymore, but presumably the New Republic would have some version of it for communication purposes, so I've made use of it.

Poe’s initial thought was that he would find Finn in their suite, but that proved to be incorrect. The suite was empty.

He considered for a moment. He didn’t exactly want to wander the palace searching for Finn but he also didn’t want to just leave him. Finn might want to be alone but Poe would rather not leave him alone until he knew that Finn was okay.

Then it hit him, suddenly, where Finn would be. He knew where Finn would go.

On their way in to the palace Poe had noticed a pathway leading to the water, lined by trees on either side. He had thought then how lovely it looked, how peaceful.

That was where he found Finn, sitting on the end of a bridge overlooking the lake, his shoes off and his pants rolled up, ankles swinging, his feet just a bit too high to actually skim the water’s surface.

Poe approached slowly, making sure to make enough noise that Finn would hear him rather than be startled. He dropped down beside Finn, dangling his legs over the edge as well but leaving his boots on. “You okay?”

That question was likely deserving of the snort Finn gave in response.

“All right, that’s fair,” Poe said. “How about this? Do you want to talk or would you rather I left you alone?” 

“You can stay,” Finn said after a moment’s hesitation.

So Poe stayed and he didn’t speak, waiting for Finn to be ready.

He would always wait for Finn, for anything, however long it took.

“It can’t be true,” Finn said finally, quietly, staring at the lake. “They must be lying.”

Honestly Poe had no idea what was going on but he had seen Queen Miri’s face. That hadn’t been the face of a liar; it had been the face of a woman who was desperate. “Why would they lie? What do they have to gain?”

“How should I know? You’re the one who’s done this before.”

“Not quite like this,” Poe said, as if that wasn’t one of the biggest understatements he had ever made. “It’s just… It doesn’t make sense.”

Though Poe had been prepared to go on, Finn interrupted, taking the conversation in an entirely different direction from where Poe had been going with it. “No, it doesn’t make sense! I’m not a slagging _prince_.”

“They seemed very sure.” 

“Okay, but if I was the… the… If I am who they say I am, how could the First Order ever have gotten me? They can’t be taking princes from people to turn them into stormtroopers. It doesn’t make sense.”

“I don’t know,” Poe allowed, because Finn had a point. “I guess I keep learning all the time exactly what the First Order is capable of.”

“I was in the First Order. They have rules for this sort of thing, regulations that are followed. There are systems. They don’t kidnap princes!”

“Maybe you should just listen to what the king and queen have to say,” Poe said, trying to make his suggestion sound as non-threatening as possible. 

“It’s completely ridiculous! I can’t be a prince. I’m a nobody. I’m not special.”

Everything in Poe rebelled at those words. Finn was the most – he was – didn’t he _know_? 

He hadn’t been going to touch, he wasn’t going to touch, but he needed Finn to look at him, to understand, to get it. So Poe turned sideways, bending one leg up on the bridge, and gripped Finn’s shoulders until Finn _looked._

“You saved my _life,_ ” he said, the words feeling inadequate but they were all Poe had. “I thought I was being taken to my execution but you saved me, even though I was nobody to you. You risked everything to escape the First Order because you wanted to be different, to be someone other than who they wanted you to be. You completed my mission, you threw yourself into danger after Rey, you fought Kylo Ren! You are the most amazing person I’ve ever known, Finn, and prince or no fucking prince, you’re special.”

Poe couldn’t tear his eyes away from Finn and somewhere across the galaxy Jessika Pava was laughing her ass off, but if there was anything Poe needed it was for Finn to believe his own worth.

Finn swallowed. “Well, if you feel that strongly about it,” he said, a blush creeping forth on his dark skin.

Poe could feel his own corresponding blush, though his face must look a billion times brighter. “Yeah, I do.”

They kept looking at each other and Poe thought he should break the eye contact, he should turn, he should look away, but he couldn’t quite make himself.

Finally Finn smiled cheekily. “You’re a sap, Poe Dameron. You’re supposed to be so cool but I know the truth.”

“It was never much of a secret,” Poe said, too comfortable with himself to even be embarrassed. He had never tried to hide who he was, for better or worse. “Do you want to go back?”

“Think I’ll just sit here for a while,” Finn said, shaking his head. “You can stay, if you want? I mean, you don’t have to.”

So obviously Poe stayed.

-

‘A while’ ended up meaning that they stayed by the lake until the sun had set, the brilliant colors reflecting across the water. Finn had been entranced and the overall peaceful aura seemed to have had a pleasing effect on his mood.

Poe was somewhat surprised no one from the palace had come to retrieve them but then he supposed it made sense. The king and queen wouldn’t want to aggravate Finn or push him farther away, given what they desired.

While they had sat Poe’s mind had continued to dwell on the idea that it might actually be true. Finn could be this planet’s prince. The idea was crazy, obviously, but somehow it… wasn’t. 

What if Finn truly was Prince Caled?

Poe had found his imagination all too easily conjured up a picture of Finn in colorful robes, a golden coronet resting on his dark hair. It made for a pleasant view.

Altogether less pleasant was the voice in Poe’s head that reminded him that if Finn were the prince of Artorias, he would leave the Resistance. He would leave Poe.

It was easy not to listen to that voice. The whole thing could just be a misunderstanding. In a few days it would all be cleared up and they would go back to attempting to induce King Caled into a partnership with the Resistance. They might have wanted Finn here for personal reasons but that didn’t mean Poe couldn’t still salvage the mission.

He was persuasive. He had learned from the best.

When Poe and Finn made it back to their suite, there was a blinking light on the console indicating a holomessage. It was from Ambassador Lee, the small flickering image informing them that should they like to eat, all they need do was send word and something would be brought up for them, no matter the time. She also said that the king and queen would welcome the chance to dine with them in the morning, if they were agreeable to the proposition.

As the message ended, Poe looked at Finn, who was biting his lip, his shoulders tense and tight.

“Your call,” Poe said. “They’re clearly not interested in me or the Resistance.”

“Can I decide in the morning?” Finn asked, his voice small. He sounded terrified.

Poe felt a strong urge to wrap Finn in his arms, which he suppressed. For obvious reasons. “I think that would be fine. I don’t know about you, but I’m starving. I’ll take them up on the food offer at least.”

“Yeah, okay,” Finn said, and if he didn’t actually relax, he at least looked slightly calmer. “That sounds good.”

“Okay,” Poe said, clinging to the opportunity provided by the practicality of getting some food into Finn’s belly.

He wished, though, that he actually knew what to do.

-

Poe slept poorly and, judging by the circles around his eyes, so had Finn. After Poe splashed water on his face in the ‘fresher, he found Finn in the small lounge area, wearing Poe’s old jacket again and picking at a seam in his pants. 

Not wanting to push, Poe only said, “You want some caf or something? I can make a pot.”

“I think we should go to breakfast,” Finn said, raising his eyes to meet Poe’s.

“All right.”

“I mean, with the king and queen. I think we should say yes.”

“You do?”

“You think I shouldn’t?”

“No, that’s not what I meant,” Poe said, sitting down next to Finn on the sofa, pulling one leg up beneath himself. “I was just surprised, that’s all. I didn’t think you’d say yes. You seemed pretty adamant about not believing them yesterday.”

Finn shrugged. “I’ve been thinking a lot about it. Maybe you’re right; maybe I should just listen to what they have to say. It can’t hurt, right?”

Poe let himself put his hand on Finn’s shoulder in a comforting gesture, though to be quite honest he didn’t know if it was meant to be comforting for Finn or for himself. “I’m glad you’re willing to hear them out, Finn. They seem like good people.”

“I guess,” Finn said, and fell quiet.

Poe used the comm system to let Ambassador Lee know that they would be honored to accept the king and queen’s breakfast invitation. She met them shortly after herself, greeting them in her calm, subdued manner.

“I hope you slept well?” she said as they walked through the halls.

“Yes, thank you,” Poe said, though it was a lie. Finn remained silent by his side so Poe kept up a steady, polite babble of conversation with the ambassador himself.

Ambassador Lee brought them to a small dining hall, light and airy because of the floor to ceiling windows that took up one wall of the room. Poe could see out across the lake, to birds skimming over the water and a small fishing boat some distance away.

“Please, sit,” the ambassador told them. “King Caled and Queen Miri will be joining us shortly.”

So Poe sat at the table, Finn pulling out the chair directly beside him. The ambassador sat across from Finn. Poe briefly wondered if he should have attempted to follow some fashion of seating etiquette but then decided if it mattered enough, Ambassador Lee would have made a point of it.

Finn was fidgeting, his knee bobbing up and down, so Poe reached over and rested his hand there, offering a reassuring smile. Finn smiled back, though it was small and nervous and forced. He settled somewhat, though, and gripped Poe’s hand.

Ambassador Lee seemed about to speak but then the door opened and the king and queen stepped into the room. Regretfully needing to let go of Finn, Poe stood up to acknowledge them, bending forward at the waist in a bow. Finn did the same beside him.

King Caled waved them up. “Please, relax. We want you to be comfortable.”

They all took their seats again. King Caled sat at the head of the table, with Queen Miri to his right, in the empty chair beside the ambassador.

“We were so pleased you agreed to meet us,” Queen Miri said, her voice full of warmth. “I’d hoped… I do apologize for yesterday. It was wrong of us to spring everything on you, Cal--” She stopped, visibly catching herself. “Finn.”

“It’s okay,” Finn mumbled. He was twisting his hands in his lap beneath the table.

Poe took his hand again. Finn clung to him.

Serving droids entered the room, bearing trays of fruits and all sorts of dishes, some of which Poe had never seen before. Thin pieces of dough rolled around filling, crispy fried meat, hot airy buns… He was again forced to drop Finn’s hand but the food was suitable compensation. 

As was the caf. It was spiced, somehow, and _delicious._ Poe couldn’t remember the last time he had had a decent cup of caf.

The conversation was kept light and inconsequential. Finn stayed mostly quiet. He ate little, which was odd. The only person Poe had ever seen have a bigger appetite than Finn was Rey.

When the droids began clearing the dishes away, the three Artorians exchanged glances with each other. Then King Caled said, “If you would allow us to, Finn, we would like to… explain. Tell you our story. Would that be all right?”

Queen Miri added, “All we ask is that you listen. We won’t force you into anything and you may…” She swallowed, a helplessly nervous gesture that she seemed unable to control. “You may of course return to your base whenever you wish. We won’t keep you here.”

Poe couldn’t stop staring at the side of Finn’s face. He didn’t know why he felt sick. Perhaps the caf hadn’t agreed with him? Had he eaten too much? Had the food been too rich?

Of course, the embarrassing explanation was that it was only nerves. Poe was going to choose to blame it on the food.

He almost missed Finn’s reply. “Only if Poe can stay. Then I’ll listen.”

Startled, Poe said, “I don’t want to intrude,” and then quieted at Finn’s desperate, pleading look. “Okay, buddy,” he finished, the words barely more than a murmur, for Finn’s ears only.

“It would be no intrusion,” Queen Miri said. “Commander Dameron is your friend, clearly, so we will have no secrets between us.”

“Okay, then,” Finn said, nodding in resolution. He reached for Poe’s hand once more.

The ambassador was looking at them from across the table, her gaze flickering downwards as if she knew, though her expression gave no indication of her thoughts.

Whatever. Poe didn’t care if the whole planet saw him holding Finn’s hand, not if it made Finn feel better.

“We can relocate, if that would make you feel more comfortable?” the queen suggested.

“Here is fine,” Finn told her.

So they began.

The story they told was straightforward enough at first. A son was born to them, a child they had longed for, a child they loved. The depth of their feeling was clear in their speech and in their faces. 

Then that son was taken from them. Stolen by a Knight of Ren, and that was where the story became interesting.

“A Knight of Ren?” Poe repeated, leaning forward in his seat. “Why would the Knights of Ren be interested in a baby prince on the Outer Rim?”

“Because the boy was of my line,” King Caled said. 

“And mine,” Queen Miri said. “He was descended from two families powerful in the Force.”

“You are Force-sensitive?” Poe asked. Maybe that was why they had been so immediately certain that Finn was their son; perhaps they could feel it. “Both of you?” Finn was squeezing his hand so tightly it was nearly painful.

The queen nodded. “We are not Jedi Knights, as you would call them, but we are strong in the ways of the Force nevertheless.”

“As your son was?”

“Yes. He was young, but in the old days of the Republic, children had always been tested young. He was Force-sensitive.”

“You tested him yourselves?”

“You doubt our ways?” King Caled asked.

“No, of course not,” Poe said hurriedly, not wishing to be offensive. “I’m just… surprised, that’s all, that you wouldn’t… You knew Luke Skywalker?”

“We knew him.”

“He was making a school, reviving the Jedi Order. You didn’t want to be a part of it?”

“We did not wish to send our son so far away,” Queen Miri said, which Poe could understand. “In any case, it matters little. The Knight came. We…” She closed her eyes, as if holding back tears. “We could not stop them. Then our son was gone.”

“This is ridiculous,” Finn muttered, drawing everyone’s eyes to him. “It’s ridiculous!” he said again, louder. “You think _I’m_ your Force-sensitive prince? Because I maybe look a little bit like you, because I was in the First Order? You really think Snoke would’ve let some magical Jedi baby get made a stormtrooper?”

“We cannot speak for Snoke,” King Caled said. “We cannot account for his actions or what he might have thought of our son when he was brought before him. We can only tell you what we know, and what we feel. You don’t need to believe us. We can’t make you. But we hope you will think on what we’ve said, and consider what is in your heart.”

“I think I’ve heard enough,” Finn said, snatching his hand from Poe and shoving his chair back. “I’m sorry about your son, I really am, but I’m not him, no matter how much you want me to be. I’m sorry.”

Poe found himself once again in the company of the king and queen of Artorias, apologizing for Finn rushing out. It was becoming an unfortunate pattern. “Thank you for your kindness,” he managed to say, standing and making a graceless bow. “I’ll talk to him.”

“Commander,” Queen Miri said, her eyes bright. “Do you believe us?”

Poe held her gaze for a long time. He still felt sick, like the contents of his stomach were roiling. “I don’t know what to believe,” he finally said, and went after Finn.

-

Finn didn’t want to talk so Poe didn’t make him. Actually Poe mostly left Finn alone. He communicated with Leia briefly using the palace’s private HoloNet channel, letting her know what was happening and that this meeting hadn’t actually been about the Resistance at all. She seemed tired and Poe tried to make assurances that he would do the best he could and see if they couldn’t come to some arrangement anyway, though he refrained from making promises they both knew he couldn’t keep.

In the afternoon Finn seemed more amenable to company, so Poe walked with him through the grounds outside the palace, the sun warming his skin. The air smelled sweet and while nothing about Artorias was like Yavin 4, really, too temperate, less wild jungle, it somehow reminded Poe of home anyway. Perhaps it was just the sense of people having inserted themselves into the landscape rather than trying to change the landscape to suit their needs.

They still didn’t talk much. Poe knew that Finn was continuing to struggle with what he had heard, with the idea that any of it could possibly be true.

Poe looked at Finn and thought that maybe it was inevitable. Maybe it was inevitable that this man, this amazing man that Poe was maybe – probably – definitely in love with, this man should turn out to be literally too good for him, so far out of his reach he might as well have been in another galaxy.

Poe didn’t know if it was true. He didn’t know if Finn was actually Prince Caled. It would be just his luck if it was true, though, and Poe wouldn’t be able to muster up even the energy to be surprised.

He was surprised, however, when Queen Miri approached them as they walked, the sunlight catching on the folds of her dress and making the fabric seem to glitter. “May I intrude upon you, gentlemen?” she asked, her eyes on Finn.

Finn hesitated. “I… I guess.”

Queen Miri touched her fingernails briefly to Finn’s arm. “May we speak, do you think?”

Feeling awkward and out of place, Poe said, “I’m gonna… I’ll leave you alone, okay?”

The queen turned to him, her large dark eyes suddenly seeming startlingly like Finn’s. “You are always welcome, Commander,” she said.

Poe let himself fall into step just behind the two of them as they walked along the wooded path. He wanted to say, _call me Poe,_ but he didn’t want to draw any more attention to himself.

He was expecting the queen to speak first but it was Finn’s voice he next heard.

“Why are you so sure it’s me?”

“A mother always knows her son,” Queen Miri said softly.

“But that’s not… I can’t even use the Force.”

“Can’t you?”

“No! I’m not Rey.”

“But you held your own with a lightsaber, did you not?”

“That’s different,” Finn insisted. “I needed a weapon; that was all I had. How do you know about that, anyway?”

Queen Miri was smiling. “You underestimate your fame, I think.” 

“I don’t underestimate anything! It’s you, it’s all of you, you all think I’m someone I’m not, trying to give me credit for… for…” Finn was staring straight ahead of himself, his bearing so tense that even Poe could see it. “A prince would be better.”

“How so? A prince is just a man, the same as any other, and you have much to be proud of, Finn.”

“I was motivated by selfishness! I rescued Poe because I needed him, I couldn’t leave without a pilot. And I was going to run, I wanted to save myself, I would’ve run away from the Resistance, from all of it. I only went back for Rey.”

“So you risked your own life, risked everything, for a girl you barely knew, and you think that reflects poorly on you? What about all you’ve accomplished since then?”

“I’m just trying to earn my keep,” Finn muttered, glancing back at Poe for a second. “Help my friends. Keep them safe.”

“Finn,” Poe said, though he didn’t actually know what he wanted to say.

The queen stopped walking, turning towards Finn and taking his hands. “Do you truly not know me at all? Am I nothing but a stranger to you?”

Finn seemed drawn to her, searching her face with an intent focus. “They… they gave us things. I’m not sure I _can_ remember. I… I want to. I wish I did. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize to me. It was me who failed to protect you, to keep you safe. You can’t know how much I…” Queen Miri blinked back tears. “I can’t make you believe me. But will you at least let me have you tested? Your Force sensitivity?”

“And if I’m not Force-sensitive?”

“As I said before, you are free to leave at any time. No matter what our tests show.”

Finn looked to Poe again, who tried to smile encouragingly though he felt like throwing up. “Okay,” Finn said. “I’ll sit through your tests.”


	3. Chapter 3

The following morning, Poe waited in a chair outside a closed door while the Artorians put Finn through whatever tests they had for Force sensitivity. It seemed to take a long time but then, Poe was on edge and anxious so it might have just felt that way.

When Finn came out, unaccompanied, Poe sprang to his feet. _What happened?_ was on the tip of his tongue but he couldn’t make himself say it.

“Let’s go outside,” Finn said, so Poe followed him.

They ended up back on that bridge, standing on the edge, the cooling breeze from over the water blowing through Poe’s hair. He waited for Finn to decide if he wanted to tell Poe about what had happened in that room, not even entirely sure if he wanted to know or not.

Somehow he knew that the answer was going to change everything.

Finn stuffed his hands in his back pockets, rocking awkwardly on his feet. “I guess I am like Rey after all. At least a little.”

Poe felt his lips part, his mouth gaping open, and made himself close it so he wouldn’t look like a fool. “What?”

“Who’d have guessed, right? I must not be very impressive or else Snoke wouldn’t have had me banished to the troopers.”

 _Or else he was afraid of you,_ Poe thought, but he didn’t think Finn was ready to hear that. Poe had so many questions he didn’t even know where to start, but the most important one was, _are you going to leave me?_

So he didn’t ask it. Instead he said, “How do you feel?”

Finn laughed, high-pitched and hysterical-sounding. “How do I feel? I feel like a fucking stranger! I came here thinking they just wanted to ogle at the ex-stormtrooper and then talk business with you, and then somehow I’m listening to a queen tell me I’m her long-lost son and oh, by the way, also you can be a Jedi if you want! How the frag do you think I’m feeling? Actually, if you could tell me, that would be great, because I haven’t got a kriffing clue.”

He stood there breathing heavily and Poe stared at him, wishing he had even the slightest idea of what he should do. But of course, Poe had this thing where he didn’t actually think before he did things or before he opened his stupid mouth so he moved forward and wrapped his arms around Finn, pulling him close.

At first Finn stiffened in surprise but then he raised his arms, gripping Poe tightly and crushing his face to Poe’s shoulder. He made this sort of half-sobbing sound into Poe’s jacket as he breathed.

“It’s gonna be okay,” Poe said, even though he wasn’t sure that was true at all, his stomach twisting into knots. “It will be okay, Finn. I’m here, okay? For whatever, anything you need. I’m going to make this be okay.”

Even as he kept muttering nonsense, rubbing Finn’s back, Poe heard a voice in his head saying, _Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Dameron._

Too bad it was too late for that.

-

Finn spent most of the remainder of the day with the king and queen. Poe knew he could have come along, and Finn might even have wanted him to, but he couldn’t. Finn needed time with just his… with them, away from Poe, while he figured things out.

And Poe was… Well, he had this sort of ache when he looked at them, this gnawing uncomfortable feeling in his stomach because he was afraid he knew where this would lead. And that wasn’t fair, because Finn might actually have found his family, his real family, and Poe should be happy for him. He was happy for him.

But he was sorry for himself, and that was selfish, and not what Finn needed.

So Poe ate lunch with them and that was all. The rest of the day he left them to each other.

In the evening Finn returned to their suite, sitting next to Poe on the sofa where he had been watching vids on his datapad. Finn casually pressed himself against Poe’s shoulder but it wasn’t like that morning, when he had clung to Poe out of desperation. It was just Finn not realizing what he did to Poe with the touching and the… with his _face,_ and with just being himself.

“Everything all right?” Poe asked, resting his datapad in his lap.

“I guess. They’re nice, you know? Not what I expected.”

“I guess none of this has been what you expected.” It certainly wasn’t what Poe had expected.

“Thanks for that understatement.” Finn slumped more against Poe.

Poe stretched his arm out across the back of the sofa behind Finn, which prompted Finn to curl into him even more. Poe didn’t know why he did this to himself.

“What am I supposed to do?” Finn asked, though it was less a question and more simply thinking aloud. “They say I’m-- I’m Prince Caled, or whatever, and that they know me, and… And it makes sense? Somehow, I mean, I have the Force, apparently, and maybe I could have been brought to the First Order because of it, only… It’s so crazy, it’s insane, and I can’t remember! I can’t remember any of it. They look at me like I should and I want to, I want to so much, but I _can’t._ ”

As Finn spoke, it suddenly occurred to Poe that there was actually something he could do. He knew how to help.

He said, “The memories are still there, though; you just can’t access them.”

“What difference does it make? Either way I can’t remember.”

“Because it means your memories are there for someone to find.” At Finn’s puzzled look, Poe elaborated, “When I was, uh, on the _Finalizer,_ Kylo Ren got into my head. He was able to see things that I…” Poe stared at the wall, quelling the rush of painful memories. “And I would never wish that on anyone, especially not you. But what if it was someone you trust, someone who would never hurt you, who would look for this one thing and that’s all? Luke, or Rey?”

Finn’s eyes widened with dawning understanding and growing excitement. “You think that would actually work?”

“I don’t know, but I’m not sure what other choice you have beyond just taking the Artorians’ word for it or not.”

“I can’t,” Finn said. “Maybe I should? I might even want to believe them, that I’m… But I can’t.”

“You could always ask for a blood test.”

“Which they could have faked.”

“Well, sure, if you think they would do something like that.” Poe doubted it, personally, but it wasn’t up to him. “We could go somewhere else, have it done ourselves. Somewhere off-world.”

“And then what? I trust a test result over my own mind?”

“That’s generally the idea.”

Finn shook his head. “No. That… That’s not good enough. I’ll spend the rest of my life wondering why I can’t remember, why I can’t just _see_ it.”

Poe was running his fingertips up and down Finn’s arm. He couldn’t make himself stop. “I think you have your answer then.”

“Would they come, though? Rey and Luke? Aren’t they still on Dagobah?”

“I think Rey would do anything for you and Luke would have a tough time stopping her.”

Finn was smiling now, all fond amusement. “Yeah, you’re probably right. She’d be pissed if she missed all this drama, too.”

“You’ll be doing her a favor,” Poe agreed. “Rescuing her from the swamps on Dagobah.”

“Bet she’s never seen a palace before! I’ll message her in the morning,” Finn said, resolute.

“Sounds like a plan.” Poe made himself look away from Finn’s face and to the datapad in his lap so he would maybe stop thinking about how much he wanted to press Finn back against the sofa cushions and lick into his mouth. Damn it.

It was just that Finn hadn’t smiled this much in days and he was so blatantly cheerful at the idea of not only sorting this mess out but at getting to see Rey again in the process, and Poe was so relieved that he almost couldn’t help himself. And the worst part was that even though Poe was genuinely happy that Finn’s mood was improved enough that he could smile and joke, he couldn’t help but fear what came next.

If Rey and Luke came to Artorias and found memories of Caled and Miri in Finn’s head, there was no way he was ever coming back to the Resistance. Poe knew that.

He wanted Finn to be happy. He wanted that more than anything.

He was only sorry that it was seeming increasingly likely that Finn’s path to happiness lay in a different direction than Poe’s.

“Got anything good on there?” Finn gestured to the pad.

“Some holodramas, maybe,” Poe said, and resigned himself to the prospect of spending a few hours pressed next to Finn, warm and cozy, while they watched something.

Sometimes Poe wasn’t sure if he hated or loved his life.

-

Finn was visibly anxious again the next day. They couldn’t know how long it would take for Rey to get their message or how long it would take her response to reach them, and the waiting was going to be hard on Finn.

The dinner invitation from King Caled and Queen Miri didn’t come as a surprise, though it did prove to be another source of stress. Finn seemed torn in two directions, between wanting to accept them and fearing that none of it was actually real, that he would only end up disappointed.

Poe couldn’t even begin to imagine how Finn felt. Poe had always had a family and he had always known they were his. He had never lived a single moment without knowing how much he was loved.

When Finn came out of the ‘fresher he was wearing Poe’s borrowed clothes, his good ones. The shirt stretched over Finn’s broad chest and the pants clung to his ass. Poe gaped for a second, his gaze sliding slowly down Finn’s body and back up again.

Finn fidgeted, tugged at the end of one sleeve. “Is it too much? It’s just that I thought I should look nice for them, you know? And your clothes are nicer than mine. They’re what I was gonna wear to the formal stuff we don’t seem to be having. Because we’re not in negotiations. Um.”

“You look great, buddy,” Poe managed to say, his voice croaking in his throat. “Though you’re making me look shabby.”

Finn’s smile was small and pleased. “You always look good,” he said, and Poe didn’t let himself read anything into it because that would only lead to madness. Finn didn’t mean it the way Poe wanted him to.

“Let’s head to the dining hall,” Poe suggested before he could do something stupid. It would be easier to control his lust in the presence of the king and queen. Guaranteed boner-killer.

It was easier, in fact, but only because Poe kept looking between King Caled and Finn, the similarities in their features striking. He watched Queen Miri smile at Finn, full of affection, while Finn’s shyness melted away into his habitual charm and energy as he became more comfortable.

They could be a family, Poe thought. They could be. They should be. Finn’s true family, not just a placeholder like Poe had been, a substitute.

He suddenly noticed that everyone was staring at him and realized he had completely lost the flow of conversation. “What?”

Finn was rolling his eyes. “I was just telling them about what a great pilot you are. See if I pay you any more compliments; you don’t even listen.”

“I must have been in shock,” Poe said easily, as if Finn didn’t say nice things about him all the time. “It’s in my genes, anyway, I think. My mother was a hell of a pilot.”

They talked for some time about the Rebellion and it started to feel easier, Poe’s mind on Leia and his parents and flying and the stories he grew up on, but then Queen Miri was talking about hosting a party and Finn’s face went sort of weirdly blank, like he was trying to invisibly freak out, hoping no one would notice.

“Of course we don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable,” she was saying, her eyes on Finn. “But it would be nice to let the people see you.”

“See me,” Finn said, his voice raspy and incredulous.

“It’s not that we’re trying to pressure you, but… You must realize how much this will mean to everyone. Having you here.”

“I don’t even know for sure if I believe you yet. That’s what Rey’s coming here for.”

“Of course,” Queen Miri said, demurring, but there was something in her face that told Poe she thought it was only a matter of time.

Finn was breaking and they all knew it.

He wanted it to be true.

-

A couple of klicks away from the palace was a large open-air market. Poe was strolling through it with Finn, enjoying the crowd, the bustle, the pleasant weather. He liked watching the bartering and everyone trying to get the best deal, to bring the price down a bit, to get an extra bolt of cloth thrown in.

He also liked walking next to Finn, talking about nothing important, laughing, relaxing. He bought a brightly colored woven blanket to give to Karé for her birthday and Finn bought a necklace for Rey, a thin beaded chain that sparkled in the sun.

“I don’t even know if she likes jewelry,” Finn said, twisting it in his hands. “I should’ve gotten something else. Should I get something else?”

“It’s pretty, she’ll love it,” Poe said. “I don’t imagine she’s had many things that were pretty in her life, and even fewer gifts.”

Seemingly reassured, Finn tucked the necklace into the pocket of his jacket.

As he did so, Poe noticed a young couple watching them and murmuring to each other. Poe smiled and wished them a good morning in Basic, which made them flush and hurry off in the opposite direction. Poe swept Finn away as Finn said, “They were talking about me again.”

It happened every time they left the palace. It probably happened while they were in the palace, too, it was only that the people they encountered within the walls were likely better at gossiping out of sight.

“They’re curious. You can’t blame them.”

“I suppose you’re used to people talking about you. Best pilot in the galaxy and all.”

Poe shrugged. “I earned that. I’m not gonna be embarrassed by it.”

Finn’s expression was pinched, pensive and uncomfortable. “When I left the First Order all I wanted was a quiet life. Not this.”

If Finn was the prince, he was going to spend the rest of his life in the spotlight, being talked about. Even if he wasn’t, he was still a hero of the Resistance, and people would talk about that.

“If there’s one thing you’re not destined for, buddy, it’s a quiet life,” Poe said.

“Aw, thanks, Poe. You always know how to make me feel better.”

Poe laughed and squeezed Finn’s shoulder, pretending he couldn’t hear Finn’s obvious sarcasm. “I do what I can.”

-

“She’s coming! She’s coming here!” Finn shouted, running at Poe full-tilt and flinging his arms around him.

Poe stumbled and nearly got knocked off his feet, clinging on to Finn to keep himself upright. “What?”

“Rey! She replied! She’s coming here, her and Luke!”

“That’s great, buddy,” Poe said, matching Finn’s smile in spirit if not in magnitude. “I told you she would.”

“D’you think she’ll make it in time, before the ball thing, or whatever?” There was a trace of nervousness in Finn’s face and it wasn’t hard to guess why.

“Well, it’ll take them a bit to plan it all. I wouldn’t worry, Finn. She’ll be here.”

When Finn was presented to Artorias, they would all know if he was truly the prince or not.

Later, Poe got in contact with Leia again. It was maybe a little odd how much of a relief it was to simply see her familiar face, her tired smile and sharp, bright eyes. The connection was good and there was hardly any delay.

“Sorry it’s all taking so long,” he said to her. “And not even because we’re negotiating.”

“That’s all right, Poe,” Leia said with the air of someone who had repeated the sentiment far too many times. “I understand why you can’t leave him.”

Poe couldn’t make himself say anything.

“I imagine having Finn as the prince will help us. He would immediately become our strongest supporter.”

Trust Leia to find the practicality in the situation. “He would certainly do his best to bring the king and queen to our side.”

“He’s well, though?” Leia asked. “You’re well?”

Poe had to glance away from the flickering image of Leia’s face, the shrewdness in her expression. “He’s… scared. And hopeful. It’s all pretty overwhelming.”

“I can imagine.” There was a pause as Leia turned to the side, her attention likely being needed elsewhere. “I’m sorry, Poe, I need to cut this short. Take care of yourself. Keep me informed.”

“Of course, General. Say hi to everyone for me. Tell Beebee I hope he’s behaving. And… I’m sorry I can’t be there with you.”

The transmission ended and Poe sat there for a few moments, feeling sort of bereft. He longed to be back on base, flying with his pilots, doing something worthwhile, instead of sitting here, useless. He wanted to be here for Finn but he didn’t belong here.

And it was seeming increasingly likely that someday soon, Finn wasn’t going to need him. Finn would have an entire planet as a support system. What use would Poe be to a prince?

-

The preparations for the ball were all-consuming, sweeping up the palace into a constant state of bustle and energy and activity. Poe was gradually realizing that somehow he was meant to be a guest of honor or something, because even though King Caled wasn’t actually negotiating with the Resistance, Poe was still a highly regarded officer.

And he was best friends with Finn. So there was that.

While Poe ordinarily loved a good party, honestly he could think of a hundred other things he would rather do than be paraded in front of the Artorian court and their huge guest list. Commander Poe Dameron, best friends with the prince, soon to be yesterday’s news.

Because, all right, it wasn’t official that Finn was the prince, but Poe always felt it was best to prepare for the worst case scenario. Which in this case meant, Finn was the prince and he would stay on Artorias and Poe would leave, Poe would go back to the Resistance and they would both be where they belonged.

Apart.

Poe couldn’t even look at Finn anymore without thinking it, without part of him knowing that soon this could be all over, their close friendship fading away over distance and separation. He had fallen too fucking hard and too fucking fast and he should have known it would all end badly.

Didn’t it always?

But in any case, the preparations continued. Officially speaking, the ball had nothing to do with any princes. Finn and Poe were merely honored guests from the Resistance. King Caled and Queen Miri knew better than to rush, than to push, and Rey would be here soon.

She would be here, and then they would know.

Poe was walking alongside the lake, hands in his pockets, the sun on his face, when he saw Finn approaching. He had been spending more time with Caled and Miri, the three of them growing closer, getting along like… like _family,_ and Finn was happy and optimistic and a little bit anxious, and Poe loved him so much it hurt.

“Hey,” Poe said, when Finn came near.

“Hey,” Finn said in turn, and apparently his mind was set on something specific because he wasted no time on politeness or mindless banter. “Do you know how to dance?”

Justifiably a little bit startled, Poe said, “Sure, I mean, I never took any lessons or anything, but yeah, I can dance.”

“Can you teach me then?”

“What?”

“I don’t know how,” Finn admitted, sounding forlorn, like he thought it was a personal failing. “And with this ball thing, they’re expecting me to dance, I have to _open_ it or something, and I just… don’t want to make a fool of myself.”

“Aw, well, buddy, they’ll give you lessons. They’re gonna want you to learn their own dances; I can’t help you with that.”

“But can’t you just show me? You know, the basics? So I don’t look like an idiot tripping over my own feet?”

“I don’t think that’s likely,” Poe said but the look on Finn’s face was killing him and damn if he would ever be able to say no to him. “I can try, Finn. Sure, I can show you some things.”

Finn’s face lit up with relief. “Thanks, Poe! I… I really don’t want to disappoint them.”

Poe’s heart felt like it broke a little, just then. “You won’t. I’m gonna help you, okay? Here.”

Deciding to ignore the fact that they were outside and anyone could walk by and see them, Poe moved closer to Finn, gently placing Finn’s hands on his shoulders and putting his own on Finn’s hips, where he could direct Finn a bit as they moved. “Just follow my lead, all right? We won’t do any fancy steps or anything, I just want you to get used to me.”

Finn nodded in resolution, his forehead creased in concentration. “Okay.”

Finn was coordinated and athletic and he was a quick learner, so Poe didn’t think he’d have much trouble. Of course, as Poe started humming, swaying them in step to the beat, he discovered Finn didn’t have much sense of rhythm.

But Poe could work with that.

He took a firmer grip of Finn’s hips, not forcing him, but just nudging him more into synch with Poe. Finn was tilting his head down towards the ground, watching their feet, and Poe raised one hand for a second to push his chin up. “Look at me, yeah?”

Which was probably a mistake because now Finn was gazing into Poe’s eyes and damn, they were standing close. Poe tried to think of something clever to say to lighten the mood but his mind was irritatingly blank. Instead he went on humming again.

“What is that?” Finn asked. “The song? It sounds familiar, like I’ve heard it before, you… You hum it sometimes when you’re making repairs to your ship.”

“My mom used to sing it, when I was little.”

“It’s nice.”

“It’s sort of a lullabye,” Poe said, and then, damn it, he was singing it softly while Finn watched him, their bodies only a breath apart as they moved together.

“Didn’t know you could sing like that,” Finn said after Poe finished and his hands felt so kriffing warm even through the layer of Poe’s shirt.

His mouth was obscenely close and Poe kept looking at it, couldn’t stop; he wondered what it would be like, kissing Finn, how -

But this wasn’t about Poe, or what he wanted, it was about what Finn needed, and they were dancing because Finn was maybe a prince and he needed to go to a ball and that was it. It didn’t matter that his soft, full lips were begging for a kiss, or that one of his hands had drifted to the back of Poe’s neck, over the bumps of his spine, or that Poe desperately wanted to pull his hips just that tiny bit closer.

“Let’s try,” Poe started, his voice sounding rough even to his own ears. He swallowed and tried again. “Let’s try something a bit different,” he said, and kept Finn near him, rearranging their hands while Finn watched him intently. He placed Finn’s hands on his hips this time. “Feel how I move, okay?”

Finn was nodding, worrying his bottom lip, and Poe considered that he must actually be a glutton for punishment because why else would he continue to torture himself like this?

-

Accompanying Finn while he got measured for formal Artorian clothing had been a mistake, Poe decided. A very, very big mistake.

He watched the tailor’s hands move nimbly, watched him slide the measuring tape up the inside of Finn’s thigh and swallowed thickly, his brain going places it had no right going. He pictured himself kneeling on the floor, trailing his fingers up Finn’s legs, gripping his hips. He imagined mouthing at Finn, right there, where the crease of his thigh met -

Poe coughed, drawing Finn’s eyes to him, concerned. “All right?”

“Fine, yeah, uh, fine,” Poe lied. He tugged at his collar. “Is it hot in here? Feels hot. I’m just gonna go outside and get some air.”

He didn’t wait for any sort of response and high-tailed it out of there. “Kriffing hell,” he muttered to himself. “You are sad, Dameron, you are so sad. Be glad no one’s here to witness the pathetic mess you’ve become.”

He could imagine it, though. He could hear Jess Pava’s dry voice and Iolo’s amused laugh, could picture Snap rolling his eyes and Karé patting Poe’s shoulder in mock sympathy. 

Poe really just wished BB-8 were here. It was possibly even more sad that the only one Poe actually wanted to talk to was his droid, but whatever, BB-8 was the greatest and he always listened and while his idea of relationship advice wasn’t maybe what a human would consider great advice, it nevertheless always made Poe feel better to talk things through with him.

But BB-8 wasn’t here. It hadn’t been the sort of mission that required an astromech and while Poe probably would have brought BB anyway, Iolo’s droid had taken a rough hit and needed extensive repairs so Poe had (extremely generously, he thought) offered BB-8’s services for the duration.

Poe was currently wishing that sometimes he was a little less nice. He needed his non-judgmental best pal, okay.

Well, BB-8 sometimes judged a _bit._

“Commander Dameron,” someone said, and Poe absolutely did not jump.

“Yes?” he said, a guilty flush settling on his cheeks as he looked at Ambassador Lee, like she would somehow be able to divine that less than five minutes ago he had been entertaining a fantasy about giving a blowjob to the man who was quite possibly her future king.

If she could, thankfully she was willing to keep it to herself. “You know we would be happy to have clothing made for you as well.”

“What? Oh, no, that’s fine, I have my dress uniform. More appropriate to my station, don’t you think?”

Ambassador Lee pursed her lips and Poe bemoaned his lack of tact. “No one thinks badly of you, Commander.”

“That’s not what I meant, I--”

“Finn may be our prince but that doesn’t reflect on you. I can’t imagine that he wishes for your relationship to change so why should you?”

Poe felt like his face was burning up. “I don’t want it to change,” he said, which was just a huge, bald-faced lie, but that was a conversation he was not going to have with the ambassador. “I think it’s naïve to expect it not to.”

“I think you underestimate your friend’s loyalty and his affection for you.”

“You don’t even know him! I do, I do know him, and I’ll defend him to anyone. But the fact of the matter is, he might be a prince, the heir to your damn throne, and I’m… I’m…” Poe trailed off, his burst of anger fading. What was even the point?

Ambassador Lee was looking at him like she could see everything about him. “You think you aren’t good enough.”

“What, you gonna tell me I am? Are you going to stand there and say you’d like to see some pilot from Yavin Four court your beloved prince?”

_ Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.  _ Why had he said that?

Except the ambassador didn’t look surprised, didn’t even blink. “What I want doesn’t matter. King Caled and Queen Miri wish only for their son to be happy.”

“That’s progressive of them.”

“They’ve lived two decades without him. There is nothing they wouldn’t be willing to give him.”

“So he’ll be happy, then. That’s all I want.”

“Poe?”

And Poe fucking jumped again, spinning around to see Finn watching him, his eyes flickering from the ambassador to Poe. “Finn! What?”

Damn it, how the hell long had he been standing there?

“We’re done,” Finn said, not giving any indication that he had heard Poe all but declare his love for him, so that was something, anyway. “I just wanted to see if you were okay? If you’re feeling better?”

“Huh?” Then Poe remembered what he had said, the quick little lie to cover up his kriffing blowjob fantasy. “Oh, uh, right, yeah, much better. Just had a weird moment there or something, but I’m fine now.”

Finn’s relief was so genuine and sweet that it made Poe feel intensely guilty about the fact that he was lying to him in order to cover up the filthy things he sometimes imagined himself doing to Finn. Poe was a horrible person, probably. A horrible person who wanted to give Finn the fucking best blowjob he’d ever had.

Had Finn ever even had someone suck him off? And why was he thinking about this?

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Finn was asking now, and somehow he had moved closer to Poe without Poe realizing, reaching out to press the back of his hand to Poe’s forehead. “You feel hot.”

“Fine,” Poe said, encircling Finn’s wrist with his fingers, bringing his hand back down. He squashed the overwhelming, frankly embarrassing urge to kiss Finn’s knuckles. 

He made himself release Finn’s wrist and then look at Ambassador Lee. “Was there anything else, Ambassador?”

She was watching them shrewdly and Poe didn’t like what he saw in her face. “No, that was all, Commander. Please let me know if you change your mind.” She paused, a single beat, long enough for Poe’s heart to jump in his chest. “About the clothes.”

“Right,” he said.

“The clothes?” Finn asked as she walked away.

“She wondered if I wanted to be fitted for something for the ball, too. Told her I’d wear my uniform.”

Finn smiled. “I like your uniform.”

So there was that settled, then. Poe was wearing the uniform every chance he got.

And he absolutely was not going to dream about Finn peeling him out of it. Not even a little bit.

-

He dreamed about Finn peeling him out of it.

-

It got worse after that. Even just saying the words to Ambassador Lee, that he was only a pilot, that he would never be good enough for a prince, made it all seem real in a way it hadn’t before, not completely.

Maybe it would turn out that everyone had been wrong, Finn wasn’t the prince after all, but it was seeming increasingly unlikely with every day that passed. Queen Miri was so certain. Finn was so happy with her, with King Caled. They _looked_ like a family, an attractive, picturesque family, reunited.

And Poe was… Poe was the son of cargo transporters, the son of a pilot and a soldier. This was a world he would never, ever belong in.

Poe wanted to be a good friend. He wanted to support Finn, to be there for him in this, to give him whatever he needed.

But Poe needed to protect himself, too. He knew he was going to be hurt. There wasn’t any way around it.

Maybe, though, maybe he could make it hurt just a little bit less, even if only the tiniest amount, by preparing for it. He had to stop doingthis to himself, sprawling with Finn on the sofa, swaying together while they danced too close, kriffing _singing_ to him.

This wasn’t a fairy tale where Poe was going to get swept off his feet by the handsome prince so they could live in his palace by the lake. Poe was going to end up crying in Karé’s bunk with a bottle of Snap’s best booze. That was how this was going to end.

So when Finn said, “Hey, do you want to watch a film or something?”

Poe said, “Nah, buddy, sorry, I’m kind of tired. Do you mind if I sit this one out? You can have what’s on my datapad if you want.”

Finn couldn’t hide his disappointment but he said, “That’s okay. I’ll just read or something. See you in the morning?”

“Sure, of course. Sleep well,” Poe said, and shut himself into his bedroom.

This would be better. It would be.

Poe lay in the dark and told himself that even if it hurt right now, he was doing the right thing. For both of them.


	4. Chapter 4

“What,” Poe said, staring at Finn. “Can you repeat that? I didn’t hear you right.”

“I think you probably did,” Finn said, though he repeated his words anyway. “I need you to come with me to my dancing lessons because I need a partner for the ball and I said I wanted you.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought you said.” Poe rubbed his face. “Finn, what? Why would you tell them that?”

“Because I don’t know these girls! They say they can get me someone nice, some pretty noble girl, or a second cousin twice-removed or whatever that even means, but you don’t get it, Poe! They’re all going to be looking at me, and I might fall on my ass, and I just want to have a friendly face to look at, okay? If you’re there with me then maybe… maybe it won’t seem so bad. Okay?”

“Damn it,” Poe muttered. This was not part of the plan. Less dancing, not more. Poe was protecting himself because he was the only one who could.

Except Finn was just slagging _looking_ at him, with those big, sad eyes, like Poe was the only person in the galaxy who could save him.

_Fuck._

“Fine! Fine, all right.”

Finn’s smile showed all his white teeth. “Really?”

Poe tried to think of what he would say if his heart wasn’t breaking, if this was something he could have, if Finn was just Finn and he was just Poe Dameron, who had a smile and a laugh and a clever word for everyone. “Sure, I mean, who doesn’t dream of being the prince’s date to the ball?”

Finn punched his arm. “I’m not the prince yet.”

“Not yet,” Poe said and couldn’t make himself smile at all. 

-

“I think,” Finn said, his gaze flickering from Poe’s face down to their feet and back to Poe’s face again. “I think this would work better if you stop avoiding touching me.”

“I’m not avoiding touching you,” Poe said, though he absolutely had been.

They were in the middle of a lesson, the music swelling, and they were supposed to be moving in step, one, two, one, two, then spin, but it wasn’t… It wasn’t going so well, all right? Poe should definitely never have agreed to this and all he wanted was to forget the kriffing steps and just crush Finn’s body to himself, feel the full length of him against his body, and that was so not what he needed to be thinking about.

Which was why he was maybe dancing a little bit like they were teenagers afraid of each other’s bodies, keeping half a foot between their hips.

“So then you won’t mind if I move a little closer.” Finn’s large hand spread over Poe’s hip as he pulled him in until they were practically flush, Finn looking into Poe’s eyes.

Poe faked a cough and dropped one hand to Finn’s chest, nudging him away. “Think I’m coming down with something, actually. Don’t want to pass on my germs.”

“Stop lying, Poe. You’re a terrible liar.”

“I don’t think that’s--”

“If you don’t want to do this with me then just say so. I’ll find someone else.”

Something tightened in Poe’s chest, painfully, and he felt like he forgot how to breathe for a second. “Buddy--”

Finn pushed him away, stalking to the edge of the floor and dropping down into a chair. The dance instructor was watching with wide eyes but then he pretended to shuffle through some sheet music with the musician. 

Poe followed him, taking the empty seat beside him. “I’m sorry. I guess maybe I was a little distracted.”

“Have I done something wrong?”

“What? Finn, no. No, of course not.”

“Then why do you--” Finn stopped, shaking his head. “You don’t have to do this if you really don’t want to. I shouldn’t have asked.”

It was an out. Poe could take it.

Except he never could, not with the way Finn’s shoulders were drooping, the way he thought he had upset Poe, the way he was prepared to do the whole thing with a stranger no matter how scared he was just because it would be easier on Poe.

“Let’s try again,” Poe said, letting himself brush his fingertips over Finn’s knee for just a second. “I’ll do better, okay? This’ll be fun.”

Finn gawked at him. “Fun, huh? Making fools of ourselves in front of a crowd of the most important people on Artorias?”

Poe grinned and pulled Finn up to his feet. “Yeah, sounds great, right? I love a challenge.”

Rolling his eyes, Finn let Poe bring him back to the center of the floor and the music started up again.

The instructor counted the beats out loud and they went again from the top. They touched their left hands, circled around, touched their right hands, moved close together. Finn was chewing on his lip in fierce concentration and Poe wished there was something else for him to look at, something that wasn’t Finn, Finn’s face, something that wouldn’t constantly remind him of what he knew he couldn’t have. 

He heard himself say the words again, _you’d like to see some pilot from Yavin Four court your beloved prince,_ and wished with everything he had that he was only Poe and Finn was only Finn, and they were on a diplomatic mission for the Resistance, building ties, and that was all this was.

Because that Poe, that Finn, maybe they would’ve had a chance.

-

“Is that them?” Finn grabbed Poe’s arm.

“That’s a shuttle, buddy.”

“Oh. You’re right, I see it now.”

“You know we could have waited in the palace,” Poe said, though they had already been over this. “They would’ve told us the second the _Falcon_ came in.”

“Yeah, but then we would have had to get here, and it would’ve taken too long,” Finn explained, as if Poe were a little slow. 

“Yeah, okay,” Poe said, giving up. He couldn’t help but be charmed by Finn’s simple enthusiasm about seeing Rey again, his excited impatience, like a little kid who just _could not wait._

Poe would be glad to see her, too. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know what she would have to say, or what Luke would say, but it would be nice to see her face.

“That’s it, that’s it!” Finn exclaimed, pointing. “Isn’t it?”

“That’s it,” Poe agreed, and they ran into the spaceport to wait for the _Falcon_ to dock and for Rey and Luke to meet them.

Poe and Finn were the extent of the welcoming committee. The ambassador had offered to accompany them, or at least to send an aide to demonstrate their good will, but Finn had really wanted this to be private. Just the four of them.

Like Ambassador Lee had said, the Artorians wanted Finn to be happy. So it was just Poe and Finn to meet Rey and Luke when they came down the ramp of the _Falcon._

Finn didn’t bother waiting; he ran to Rey, engulfing her in a hug. Poe could hear her squeal from here. He smiled a little and hung back, giving them some time.

Apparently inclined to do the same, Luke walked past them and towards Poe. He wasn’t wearing Jedi robes, dressed instead in plain black. He looked unassuming and ordinary, which Poe suspected was the point.

“Commander,” Poe said, offering Luke his hand.

Luke clasped it, a wry tilt to his mouth. “Commander. How is my sister?”

“Well, the last time I spoke to her. Tired, but well.”

Nodding, Luke said, “I think that’s as much as I can hope for.” He and Poe both stood watching Finn and Rey, who were now rapidly conversing, expressions animated, hands gesticulating. “We couldn’t get here fast enough for her.”

“I thought that would be the case.”

“You’re worried.”

Poe looked sideways at Luke but the man didn’t turn. “It’s a… difficult situation.”

Now Luke did turn. “For him, or for you?”

Did everyone know about Poe’s embarrassing infatuation? Kriffing hell. “This isn’t about me.”

“Maybe not. That doesn’t mean you can’t still get hurt by it.”

“Doesn’t matter. Finn matters.”

“So do you,” Luke said, and then he stepped away, greeting Finn as he and Rey finally approached.

“Hey there,” Poe said, gathering Rey into a hug. “Missed you, pal. How were the swamps?”

Rey’s small nose wrinkled as she pulled back. “Wet. Smelly. Hot.” Then she grinned. “It was amazing. So? How is it living in a palace? Tell me everything!”

Poe smiled. He might be days away from losing his best friend forever but he couldn’t find anything but warmth in his heart for Rey’s presence.

-

They all knew why Rey and Luke were here, but Finn didn’t seem in any rush to have them poking around in his head so they spent the rest of the day ignoring that business. 

It was nice, actually. It was almost like, for a little while, none of it was happening. Poe walked with Finn and Rey alongside the lake and they were just Poe, Finn, and Rey again, them against the galaxy. Finn and Rey were walking with their arms linked, giggling to each other, and Poe loved them so much.

Except it was only an illusion, the fact of which Poe was reminded when he entered their suite after dinner. They had all eaten with the king and queen, after which Finn and Rey had retired together while Luke and Poe went to comm Leia.

After they spoke, Poe left Luke to speak to his sister for a while on his own and went to see what Finn and Rey had gotten up to without him. Considering their track record, it could have been anything.

He was almost surprised when he walked through the door to only hear them talking, their voices drifting across the empty room. Poe walked farther in, their voices becoming more distinct. They must have been in Finn’s bedroom with the door open so they couldn’t see him yet and it wasn’t like Poe had actually meant to eavesdrop, but he found himself pausing when he heard Finn say, “I’m scared, Rey.”

“I know. I would be, too. But no matter what happens you’ll have me, and you’ll have Poe.”

One of two things needed to happen. Either Poe needed to turn around and walk back out that door or he needed to make some noise and let them know he was here.

The problem was that Finn said, “Will I, though? Poe’s been… kind of weird lately.”

Poe froze.

“Weird how?” Rey asked.

“Just… just different,” Finn said, and Poe could hear the frustration in his voice. “I don’t know how to explain it but it’s like… Do you think… Do you think if this is real, if I’m the prince, do you think Poe won’t want to be my friend anymore?”

Poe put his hand to his chest and felt it beating there steadily. He wondered why he couldn’t seem to do anything right, why when he had tried to make this better he had only made it worse.

“That’s crap,” Rey said, making Poe love her a little more. “Of course he will. Poe basically thinks you’re the greatest person who ever lived.”

Okay, so maybe Poe didn’t love her that much.

But Finn was chuckling, so that was all right. “It used to be so easy with him but lately… I don’t know. I’m just afraid that this will change everything.”

“I think it will change a lot. But the important things, like Poe, like your friendships, those don’t have to. Not unless you want them to.”

“I don’t want to replace you with anyone else, not you or Poe.”

“I don’t want that either,” Rey said and they fell quiet. 

Poe thought probably they must be hugging and he wanted to be in there with them so much, wanted to reassure Finn that it would be all right, everything would be all right. But how could he say that when he didn’t know if it was true?

Besides, they were having their own moment. Poe couldn’t intrude. He didn’t want them to know he had been listening like a sleemo either so he went back out the door and pretended to enter for the first time, calling out immediately so they would hear him.

“Finn? Rey? You guys here?”

“In my room, Poe,” Finn called back so Poe took the implied invitation and joined them.

They were both cross-legged on Finn’s bed and Poe just leaned in the doorway. He couldn’t think of what to say or how to… how to make good on this, so he ended up doing nothing but standing there and feeling like an idiot. An idiot who was apparently a huge jerk as well. 

“So… so we might do it tomorrow morning,” Finn said, nervously picking at the bedcover. “The, uh, the Force thing. So that way it’ll be settled and they can figure out what to do. With me. And the ball.”

Rey was reaching out to grip Finn’s knee. “It will be all right.”

Poe made himself joke, “Yeah, and you’ll be the belle of the ball either way, buddy.”

“Stars,” Rey said, rolling her eyes, but Finn was smiling now and that was all that mattered.

“You’re so lame,” he said.

“The lame guy you want on your arm at the ball,” Poe teased and damn, he needed to shut his stupid mouth. What was he even saying?

Finn turned to Rey. “How fast can you learn how to dance, do you think?”

“Oh, no,” she protested. “You are not roping me into this! I’ll go to it but I am so not dancing with you.”

“Stuck with me, pal,” Poe said, and the way Finn was smiling at him was making Poe’s chest constrict.

“Okay, I don’t know about you guys,” Rey said, “but I haven’t watched a film in forever so that’s what I want to do.”

Poe had meant to spend the evening in his room by himself, he had, that would have been the best course of action, but somehow he was saying, “I’ll get my datapad.”

And then they were all on Finn’s bed and Rey was stretched out over both of them, her head in Poe’s lap and her knees bent up over Finn’s legs. Finn was leaning against Poe and this was exactly what he wasn’t supposed to be doing. Tomorrow morning they were going to know if Finn was truly Prince Caled, if it was all going to be over, and Poe should have been bracing himself for it.

But Finn was pressed against him and Poe was stroking Rey’s hair and nothing else seemed to matter because right now, he was happy.

-

In the morning Poe thought he might be sick.

They had breakfast with King Caled and Queen Miri, all of them, and Poe pushed his food around on his plate and barely managed two bites. He felt selfish and ridiculous because _Finn,_ what must Finn have been going through? None of this was about Poe and he had no right to be moping like a little kid.

Finn was quiet, though, reserved, and not up for talking. No one really was. Not even Queen Miri could keep the conversation flowing. Her hand shook when she brought her tea to her lips.

Afterwards Luke and Rey closeted themselves together in a private room, meditating or something, so Rey would be settled and peaceful and prepared. It was Rey who was going to do it, not Luke, mostly because that was what Finn wanted. Luke seemed to think Rey could and Rey’s confidence in her abilities had grown a good deal since she had first come back from Ahch-To.

Poe sat with Finn and didn’t know what to say so they mostly didn’t say anything. At first they stayed awkwardly side-by-side but Finn was… So Poe put his arm around Finn’s shoulders and held him a little. It seemed to help.

The king and queen weren’t staying for it; they had gone to attend to their own business after breakfast. By unspoken, virtual agreement, when Rey sat down across from Finn, they were alone but for Luke and Poe, off to the side, out of the way.

“Ready?” she said, quietly enough that Poe barely heard her.

Finn made this choked-off snorting, laughing sound. “Does it even matter? We have to do it.”

“Not if you don’t want to. You can leave whenever you want. You don’t owe them anything.”

There was a crazy part of Poe that wanted to run over there and grab Finn, tell him, yes, she’s right, let’s just go, let’s kriffing _go_ , but instead he dug his nails into his palm and stayed still and silent.

Finn said, “No. I have to know.”

So that was it.

Rey nodded. She raised one hand to Finn’s cheek. “I don’t actually need to touch you but it helps me focus, if that’s okay?”

When Finn nodded Rey cupped his face in her hands and closed her eyes. “Try to relax,” she told him softly, and Finn closed his eyes, too.

Poe took a shuddering breath because he could remember it, he could remember all of it, Kylo Ren in his head, _in his head,_ and he was screaming, and he wasn’t saying anything but he didn’t have to because Ren _knew,_ he knew all of it, BB-8, and the map, and Luke, and he’d failed everyone, and it was over, and they were going to kill him because what fucking use was he and – and now he was letting them do it to Finn, this had been _his idea_ – 

Poe couldn’t breathe, he was sweating, he couldn’t fucking breathe, and then someone’s hand was on his shoulder and that was Luke, Luke’s calm, gentle voice.

“No one is hurting you, Poe. And no one will hurt him. Rey won’t hurt him.”

It took effort for Poe to bring himself back to the present, to drive the past from his mind. He had to concentrate on breathing, in and out, feeling Luke’s hand grounding him. “Okay,” he said finally. “Okay.” He looked at Finn and Rey. 

They hadn’t moved but Rey was crying silently, tears dripping down her cheeks, and Poe couldn’t imagine what sort of memories she had stumbled upon. He felt a vicious stab of anger in his gut for the First Order, for the way they treated people like Finn, like they weren’t even people, like they didn’t matter. But that anger, that was something Poe could hold onto. That was something he could use.

Even after Poe no longer had Finn, he would have the Resistance.

Then they were gasping, both of them, and Finn’s eyes were wide as he stared at Rey. “I remember them,” he said. “I remember.”

“Finn,” Rey said, and she threw her arms around him. They clung to each other.

For a while Poe didn’t feel anything. It was almost as though he were watching the scene from a distance, like it didn’t involve him in any way, like a holofilm. He thought he should be happy. He should be happy for his friend who had survived so much, who now had a true home. A family. A purpose.

But Poe wasn’t happy. He looked at Finn and Rey and he couldn’t be happy. 

He turned to Luke, thinking he would be watching them, too, but Luke wasn’t looking at Finn. He was looking at Poe.

“I can’t,” Poe said, knowing that he was the worst person alive. “I can’t do it, I’m sorry. I can’t go over there and hug him and pretend I’m happy like he deserves. I can’t be any sort of friend for him right now.”

“Poe,” Luke started, but Poe just really couldn’t do this right now.

“Tell him-- I don’t care, tell him whatever you want. I’ve gotta get out of here.”

He didn’t wait for a response. He just left. He moved through the halls mostly through routine and memory, not actually seeing much of what was in front of him. He had thought maybe he would leave the palace, take a walk to clear his head, but he was so nauseous he made for the suite instead. 

When he made it there he ran into the ‘fresher and dry-heaved over the toilet.

-

Poe stayed in the ‘fresher for a long time. When he came out he definitely hadn’t been expecting to find Finn on the sofa, features awash with concern.

Finn sprang to his feet. “Poe! Are you okay? Five more minutes and I would’ve come in there.”

Gaping at him, Poe said, “You’re asking _me_ if I’m okay?”

“Well, yeah. Luke said you weren’t feeling well and I know you didn’t eat at breakfast so I was worried. Do you need a doctor? Can I do anything for you?”

Poe did not deserve this man, not even the tiniest bit. “Finn, you just… After what you’ve just been through, you--”

Finn moved closer to him. “I was worried. I care about you, Poe.”

Oh, frag. Poe was fairly certain he could not feel like a bigger dick than he did right now. He had run away when Finn needed him, because he was selfish, and here was Finn, forgetting everything except what he could do for Poe.

“I’m better now,” Poe said. “How are you? You… Your memories…”

He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t kriffing say it.

Finn shrugged, chewed on his lip. “Guess I’m a prince after all.”

“Finn,” Poe said, and that was it, he couldn’t – 

He reached out, opening his arms, and Finn fell against him, squeezing him tight. Poe rubbed his back and said, “Always knew you were special, buddy.”

Finn made this weird sound into Poe’s neck that wasn’t quite a laugh. “I have to go talk to them. Caled and Miri, my… my…”

“Your parents?”

“Fuck,” Finn swore. “Can I just stay with you a while? Please?”

Poe closed his eyes and promised himself he wouldn’t do anything ridiculous like cry. “As long as you want.”

  



	5. Chapter 5

Poe was on the bridge again, alone, hands clasped in his lap. Rey was training, he thought, and Finn… Finn was with the king and queen. Finn was figuring out where his life was headed, now that everything had changed.

So Poe was here, by himself, trying to figure out how to make himself be happy when Finn told him he was going to stay here and be Prince Caled and embrace his new life.

The sound of Luke’s voice startled him so badly that he flinched.

“You don’t have to pretend to be okay, you know, Poe. It’s all right to not be.”

“I think it’s only okay where Finn can’t see me.”

Luke took a seat beside Poe, his legs dangling over the edge. “You don’t think he wants you to be honest?”

“I think he deserves someone who won’t make this harder for him than it needs to be. He doesn’t need my problems on top of his. He deserves someone who will be happy for his good fortune.”

“And that isn’t you?”

Poe frowned. No, that was wrong. “No, I… I want what’s best for him. I want him to be so, so happy, to have all the love that only his family can give him. I want him to have the best life that he can. But I’m… I’m a little bit selfish, too. I wanted things that can’t happen now and it isn’t fair of me to put that on him.”

“You talk as though you think that makes you a bad person.”

“Finn is my best friend! And I can’t even wish him well without thinking about how it affects me. I think that makes me a terrible person.”

“I think it just makes you a _person._ You aren’t perfect, Poe, so maybe you should stop trying to be.”

“That’s not what I--”

“I know how much you care about him. Finn’s entire life is being uprooted. Don’t you think he would want you there with him? Don’t you think maybe he would appreciate knowing that he’s not the only one who’s terrified?”

Poe scrubbed his hands over his face. “It’s not that simple.”

Luke almost laughed, making this snorting huff. “I definitely didn’t say it was simple. I just don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret. Don’t need your mom to kill me all over again when I see her.”

“She’d tell me I’m being stupid, wouldn’t she?” Sometimes Poe tried to imagine the advice his mother would give him, if she were still here. It was difficult when she had been gone for so long, since before Poe had cared about any of this.

“She would.” Luke’s eyes on the side of Poe’s face felt concerned and caring in an unobtrusive way. “I’m probably not the best person to give advice, particularly not romantic advice, but I know how it feels when you leave too much unsaid. I don’t want you to make that mistake, that’s all.”

“What about if my mistake is saying too much?”

“Which would you regret more?”

That was a simple answer. Poe knew he would always regret not trying more than he would regret the outcome of doing too much, in anything, not just this. 

As if sensing Poe’s thoughts, Luke said nothing further, instead rising to his feet again. “I’m going to check on Rey. I hope you’ll think about what I said.”

“Thanks,” Poe said. “I know you don’t really know me that well, and you… Well, anyway. Thank you.”

Luke smiled at him. “You’re a good man, Poe. My sister cares about you, and so do Finn and Rey. I hope things work out for you.”

“Me, too,” Poe said to himself as Luke’s footsteps retreated down the bridge. 

The thing was, Poe knew that Luke was right. He hadn’t even really needed to hear any of it; he had known it all already. Poe didn’t want to give up Finn for anything. Maybe he wasn’t the sort of man a prince could have, but Finn was still and would always be Poe’s friend, and this didn’t have to change that. Even if Finn stayed here, they could still communicate. It wouldn’t be easy and it wouldn’t be convenient but they could do it. Maybe not regularly, but even with them both being in the Resistance Poe sometimes went weeks without being able to see Finn’s face.

Hell, Poe’s parents had lived years in the Rebellion only able to see each other irregularly. If they had made it work, then surely Poe could make this friendship survive Finn’s stroke of good luck.

Because it was good luck. Finn deserved so much happiness. All Poe wanted was to not detract from that.

And if Finn was scared, which Poe knew he must be, then Poe figured he owed it to him to help in whatever way he could.

So Poe would be honest with Finn. Finn deserved that. He deserved to know that Poe was so happy for him but that he was scared, too, that he was scared of losing Finn because Finn had done more than save Poe’s life. He had become someone Poe couldn’t live without, didn’t want to live without. He didn’t know what would happen but he wanted Finn to know that Poe would be there for him, no matter what.

Poe stood up and while he didn’t feel precisely good, he at least felt more settled than he had in days. He had been making this more difficult on himself than it needed to be. He knew that. Poe wasn’t good at keeping secrets, not this kind. It would be a relief to lose this weight from his chest.

As he walked towards the palace, Poe already felt lighter.

Then he saw Finn and all of his resolve seemed to leach away.

Finn was walking with the king and queen – with his parents – and his face was… He was _happy._ He and Queen Miri were arm in arm and Finn had this lovely, shy smile on his face as he turned his head towards her, like he still wasn’t sure this was his but he wanted it more than anything.

Poe knew that Luke’s advice had been sound. He knew that there was value in honesty and forthrightness even when it was difficult.

But Poe looked at Finn and knew he could never say what was in his heart. How could he say, _I’m afraid to lose you,_ when Finn was gaining so much? How could he be that selfish?

He was going to turn, he was going to flee in the opposite direction, but of course that was when Finn caught sight of him. He was waving, calling Poe over, and it was too late now. Poe couldn’t walk away without being unforgivably rude.

Instead he walked towards them. “Your Majesties,” Poe murmured, bowing, but Queen Miri was waving him up.

“Please,” she said. “You are our son’s dear friend. I think that earns you some familiarity, don’t you think?”

Poe’s smile felt pasted on and he hoped they couldn’t tell. It was the first time he had heard them say it out loud, _our son,_ knowing it was true. Kriffing hell, Poe was in love with the prince of Artorias. What was wrong with him? 

“Great, all that bowing was hell on my back,” he said.

Finn rolled his eyes. Poe’s smile started to feel a bit more natural.

“We were just talking about the ball,” Queen Miri said.

Poe’s heart dropped again and Finn didn’t look much better than Poe felt. He was clearly close to having a panic about it. Poe wondered if the king and queen had any idea.

“We plan to use the ball to make the announcement,” King Caled said. “Before the opening dance, perhaps. It will be a celebration for us all.”

After a moment of stunned silence, though he knew he shouldn’t have been quite so surprised, Poe said, “Did you want someone else to take my place, then? I know it was okay when you were just welcoming us, when Finn was… but I probably shouldn’t be Prince Caled’s dancing partner, should I?”

“You are still our honored guest,” Queen Miri said immediately, “as well as our son’s choice.”

Poe felt an absurd urge to blush though he knew the queen couldn’t possibly mean it the way Poe’s brain wanted to interpret it. His gaze darted to Finn, who was watching him soberly.

“I’m not Caled,” he said. “My name is still Finn. That’s still who I am, no matter what else changes.”

It was stupid to feel so pleased. Finn wanting to keep the name that Poe had offered him wasn’t actually about Poe. It was about Finn holding onto the identity he had chosen for himself after so long being identified only as a number. 

But Poe was pleased anyway. “Works out for me, wasn’t sure if I could learn a new name.”

Seemingly sensing the change in mood, Miri tucked her arm through the crook of her husband’s elbow and said, “We’ll let you boys talk for a while. You’ll join us for dinner, won’t you, Commander?”

“Only if you start calling me Poe.”

“Poe,” she said, smiling. “We will look forward to seeing you.”

The king nodded at him and then they both were off, and it was just Finn and Poe.

Finn scuffed the toe of his boot in the dirt. “Sorry about the ball.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s a thing now, and you’re getting dragged into it because of me. You can still change your mind. I can get someone else.”

“Is that what you want?”

“No!”

Poe forestalled the urge to touch Finn in some way. “Then I’m still your partner. It will be fine. They’ll all be looking at you anyway; what’ve I got to be worried about?” Poe winced. What a fucking stupid thing to say. “Frag, I shouldn’t have-- I didn’t mean--”

Finn looked stricken but he shook his head. “No, it’s okay. It’s true, isn’t it? They are all going to be looking at me. Their kriffing long-lost prince. I can only speak about five words of their language, did you know that? I can’t even speak to the people of my own fucking planet in their own fucking language!”

“You’ll learn.”

“Sure, I’ll learn the language, and the history, and the customs, and when does it stop? I don’t know anything about these people, Poe! I’m supposed to be their prince but I don’t know anything!”

Awash in a wave of guilt that he had been so caught up in his own druk that he hadn’t been anywhere near the sort of friend Finn needed right now, Poe rejected all the platitudes and reassurances that came to mind and instead said, “What can I do to help you?” 

“Help me think about something else for a while?”

“I’ll do my best,” Poe said, trying to smile, and wondered if it would help him think about something else, too. He pressed his fingertips to Finn’s back to guide him towards a bench not far from where they were standing. When they sat, Poe stretched his arm over the back and Finn took the opportunity to insert himself into Poe’s personal space, sitting close enough that their bodies pressed together from thigh to shoulder. There was a voice in Poe’s head that was telling him this was exactly what he wasn’t supposed to be doing but he ignored that voice.

Poe opened his mouth to say something, not even sure what it was going to be, but before he could Finn said, “Do you ever think about the future? About what you’d do if this was all over, the Resistance, the First Order, everything?”

 _I used to dream about a future with you,_ Poe thought. “Sometimes I imagine having a place, like my parents got after the Rebellion. Just a small place, somewhere I could be happy. They were always happy because they had each other; they had me. A quiet retirement, my dad always said.”

“That sounds nice.” Finn sounded wistful. “I think I’d like that.”

Poe wondered if Finn thought he would like living out his days in a palace by the lake, or if he would rather have the ranch on Yavin 4, but he knew that wasn’t what Finn wanted to talk about. Poe wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer anyway because either way it didn’t matter.

“Someone’s there with you?” Finn said. “In your little house? I guess someone must be.”

 _You, please, only you._ “I hope so,” Poe said. “I don’t do well alone. I’d be that crazy old guy all the kids are scared of who’s always talking to himself.” 

Finn laughed. “I’m sure you’d be terrifying.”

“Hey, you’ve never seen me when I’ve been stuck in space too long by myself. Even Beebee gets freaked out.”

“Well, there, see, you’d never be alone. Surely Beebee-Ate will want in on your retirement.”

“For my own good, obviously. He’d want to make sure I don’t get into any trouble he’s not a part of.”

“It still seems weird, you being here without him.”

“For you and me both, buddy.” Poe felt certain that BB-8 wouldn’t have let him go around moping as much as he had been, for one thing.

“I guess princes don’t get quiet retirements, not when they become kings,” Finn said, melancholy in his voice and on his face.

“I thought you didn’t want to think about it.”

“Not thinking about it hasn’t made any of it go away.”

Poe knew the feeling. He trailed his fingers up and down Finn’s arm. “I don’t think that’s possible anymore. Not unless you leave, but even then…”

“I’ll still know,” Finn said with a sigh. “Caled and Miri couldn’t have any more children. They never named another heir because they never… This is supposed to be my _planet._ They want to name me the heir to the throne, like I would have been if I’d never been taken.”

“What do you want, Finn?”

“I want… I wish they were normal. I wish they were just regular people and I could love them without all of… this.” Finn waved his hand in the air.

 _Run away with me,_ Poe thought. _Run away with me back to the Resistance and when we’re done we can have our quiet place, the two of us, and Beebee, and Rey, if she wants._

But that wouldn’t be what Finn wanted, either, because that would drag him away from his family and Poe could never do that. 

“But you’re going to do it,” Poe said softly. “You’ll let them name you their heir.”

Finn turned big, helpless eyes onto Poe. “How can I not? This is what they’ve dreamed of for years. It’s my… my birthright.”

Poe wanted to say, _That doesn’t mean you have to take it,_ but he knew Finn would. This was his family. He had given them his loyalty and he would give them his love. Finn was afraid, Poe knew, but in time he would accept all of this, and he would be happy. He would build a new home here, on the planet where he had always belonged.

Poe supposed he should be grateful he had been given the privilege of knowing Finn at all, of being able to be with him, even if it had been only for a short while. 

“It’ll be okay,” Poe said, knowing the words were useless. 

Finn leaned into him. “I feel better when you’re here,” he said.

So Poe just kept stroking his fingers over Finn’s arm and wished that that could always be true.

-

The night of the ball came upon them all too quickly. Ambassador Lee had spent an afternoon coaching Poe on protocol so he wouldn’t make a fool of himself. He still wasn’t convinced he wouldn’t do that anyway but at least they had all tried. 

He took entirely too long to get ready, like he was a teenager again, worried about how he would look on a date. He kept fixing his hair, over and over, and his Navy uniform suddenly seemed inappropriately casual despite how often in the past Poe had found the damn thing stiff and restrictive in the fashion of the best formalwear. Eventually he got forced out of his bedroom by Rey, who kept pounding on the door and shouting at him.

“Kriffing hell, Poe, no one cares what you look like! Your face does all the work for you!”

“Didn’t know you felt that way about me, Rey,” Poe said when he opened the door.

Her fist was still raised in the air. She had borrowed a dress from the queen, in the Artorian fashion, the fabric dyed in bright hues of green and blue. Her hair was swept up in a style Poe knew he had seen Leia use, with a few strands kept loose and curled to frame her face. Around her neck was the necklace Finn had bought her in the Artorian market, all those weeks ago.

She looked beautiful.

Before he could tell her so, Rey’s face split into a grin. “Finn is gonna die when he sees you.”

“Great. So then I’ll be responsible for the loss of the Artorian prince just when they’ve found him again. We can kiss our alliance goodbye for sure.”

“What’s that?” came Finn’s voice as he stepped around the corner.

If anyone was dying tonight, it was going to be Poe. Definitely Poe.

He stared at Finn and felt Rey’s hand on his chin, reminding him to close his mouth so he wouldn’t gape like an idiot. He swallowed. “Uh, wow, buddy. You look great.”

Finn pulled at his collar. “Yeah? You think so? I feel stupid, honestly.”

“No, you look fantastic, really.” Was his voice always this hoarse?

But Finn did look amazing, dressed in the long tunic and pants favored by the Artorian men, perfectly fitted. The color was a deep purple, threaded with gold, and quite honestly, Poe wasn’t sure he had ever seen anyone more beautiful in his life. Actually, he knew he hadn’t.

He must have been staring because Finn was blushing and Rey was beaming at them both, looking like she desperately wanted to tease someone but wasn’t sure which of them to pick first.

Before she could, Finn said, “You look really good, Poe. Like, really good.”

“He’d better, he spent a kriffing half hour on his hair,” Rey said.

“Nah, twenty-eight minutes, tops,” Poe said.

Rey pinched him.

They likely would have regressed even further into childish behavior if an aide hadn’t come to retrieve them for the ball. They were meeting King Caled, Queen Miri, and Ambassador Lee beforehand, so that Finn and Poe could proceed in with the king and queen while Luke and Rey went to mingle with the other guests. 

Poe was desperately jealous. He was fond of dancing but he could not emphasize enough how much he really, really didn’t want to do this.

Still, Finn was clearly even more nervous than Poe was, so he did his best to maintain an air of calmness, hoping he might be able to help Finn relax through proximity. It didn’t seem to be working but Poe was trying, anyway.

A serving droid offered Poe what he thought was tea, but when he sipped it he discovered it was actually some sort of strong liquor. It burned all the way down his throat and Poe finished the lot of it gratefully. 

Ambassador Lee was watching him with interest. “For your nerves,” she said mildly.

“Yeah,” Poe muttered and wished he had another glass.

It was strange, though, because after that he actually did feel calmer. His stomach settled and he felt less like he was crawling out of his skin. Good stuff, whatever it had been.

Then the ambassador moved to escort Rey and Luke out of the room. Rey hugged Finn and kissed his cheek, whispering something to him, and then proceeded to hug Poe. “Just don’t trip,” she said.

“Thanks for the advice and the vote of confidence, pal, love you, too.”

Rey laughed and brushed her lips over his cheek. “Better you than me, that’s all I have to say.”

She left arm in arm with Luke, following the ambassador out. Poe looked towards Finn, where he was standing between the king and queen. Queen Miri was speaking softly and Finn was nodding at her, his eyes only a little wider than normal. The not-tea must have helped him, too.

Poe was so busy staring at Finn’s face that he didn’t even notice the king had moved until he was beside Poe, talking to him. “Have we ever thanked you for what you’ve done for our son, Commander?”

“What? Um, no, it’s Poe. Poe, please. Even your wife calls me Poe now.”

“Poe.” King Caled’s smile was so much like Finn’s that it was almost unnerving. “Thank you.”

“No, I didn’t mean… No, don’t thank me, please. It was Finn who saved me, and the rest-- anything--” Poe swallowed. “It was a pleasure. My pleasure. Truly.”

“Nevertheless. You have been a true friend to him and for that we are grateful. I know that we were less than honest about our intentions when we lured you here but we do wish to help the Resistance in whatever way we can. Moving forward, I hope that we can be allies.”

Poe stared up at the king, wondering if this was actually happening. “Your support would mean a great deal to us.” 

King Caled clasped Poe’s shoulder briefly. “We will talk, Poe, I promise you. But now I believe it’s time we were on our way.”

He moved to stand beside the queen, taking her arm, and Poe, feeling slightly silly, did the same with Finn. Well, minus the arm part. Technically he might have been Finn’s escort but he didn’t think he was supposed to take it literally. He did, however, squeeze Finn’s hand for a second, just for encouragement.

Finn gave him a weak smile and they followed the king and queen into the hall and then into the ballroom.

Poe had been to a lot of formal events in his day, while he was in the Academy, with the Navy, with the Resistance, even a few fancy dinners when he was a kid because of his parents’ involvement in the Rebel Alliance. None were quite the same, given the wide variety of hosts and cultures. 

This, though, this was something special.

It wasn’t even that the room was decorated the most stunningly or the most elegantly, or that the guests had the finest costumes, or that the food on display looked the nicest (though the refreshments did look highly edible, if only Poe’s stomach hadn’t started to turn again). Poe had seen far more lavish spreads, had heard music so beautiful that it seemed to resonate in his soul, had been offered pleasurable substances illegal in half the galaxy, had had humans and aliens of all sorts hanging on his arm and devoted to his own personal whims.

No, this was downright pedestrian compared to some of the parties Poe had been to. It was more that the crowd was spreading to let them pass, to let Poe pass, Poe who was striding beside his best friend who was the prince of this entire planet, whose royal parents were smiling benevolently at everyone, their beautiful, simple circlets sparkling on their heads.

How the kriffing hell had Poe ended up here?

He followed King Caled and Queen Miri up onto a dais at the front of the room, moving to stand behind them and off to the side, hoping maybe no one would notice him. Finn was standing close enough that Poe could feel his arm tremble where it brushed against Poe’s body. Poe scanned the crowd, searching for Rey, for Luke, for their friendly faces in a sea of strangers. When he found Rey, she was grinning at them, mouthing something that looked like, _you’ll be fine!_

Or it could have been something insulting, who knew? Poe didn’t lip-read.

He realized that King Caled had been saying something and he’d completely missed it, zoned out like a teenager in school. Now the queen was addressing the crowd, and it was obvious where this was going. Finn’s hand was clenched in the back of Poe’s short belted tunic, which thankfully was thick enough to not show wrinkling too badly.

“You are all aware of our visitors from the Resistance, Finn and Commander Poe Dameron.” Queen Miri turned slightly to draw attention to them and Poe dipped his head in a nod, the only sign of acknowledgment he could force himself to make. He had never been so fucking nervous in his life.

“I, in turn, am aware of the rumors that have been circulating,” Queen Miri continued, with a mock disparaging look, which earned soft laughter from the guests. “It is my great pleasure to address these rumors and to confirm that our son, our prince, lost so many years ago, has been returned to us. Finn, please come join me,” she said, stretching out her arm.

Finn stood motionless for a moment, still keeping his hand in a death grip on Poe’s uniform. Poe gently nudged him.

“It’s okay,” he murmured. “It’ll be okay.”

Finn darted wide, anxious eyes to Poe and then unclenched his fingers, walking the last few steps to his mother until he was standing in the center of the dais, Queen Miri’s arm around his waist, King Caled smiling at them both.

“Our son, Prince Finn,” Miri said, and the entire room burst into applause.

Poe wasn’t sure how he had expected to feel, hadn’t known how he would react to this, to Finn being presented to his people, to the official ceremony of this whole thing. Maybe he thought he would have been sad. Standing here, though, Poe realized he was only proud. Hell, he was so proud of Finn, of everything he had done to get here. No one deserved this more than him.

Maybe it would be harder, when Finn was officially named heir to the throne, given a thin golden ring of interlocking leaves like his parents wore on their heads. Maybe that would be harder to watch. But now, if Poe wasn’t precisely happy, he was so kriffing proud.

Eventually the applause died down and Queen Miri said a few more words. Poe wasn’t exactly listening; he knew what came next. He was too preoccupied with staring at the back of Finn’s head, at the way his back was so straight and his shoulders so tense. He looked the way Poe felt.

Then Caled and Miri were stepping away from Finn, gesturing to him, and Poe knew it was time. Finn met his eyes, still so anxious, and Poe moved towards him. They walked down the steps together and took their place in the middle of the floor.

“Pretend there’s no one here but us,” Poe said quietly. “Just look at me. There’s only me, okay?”

Finn nodded once, exhaling through his mouth as if to calm himself.

The music started and Poe didn’t let his gaze slip from Finn’s face for a moment.

It was easier than he had thought it would be. He focused on Finn and took his own advice, blocked out everyone else, the whole room, the guests, the king and queen, why they were here, what they were doing, the whole damn planet. He let it all fall away until it was only him and Finn, dancing, like they might have done if they were together. 

So Poe pretended they were. For this one single dance he pretended that Finn was his. He let himself gaze into Finn’s eyes the way he wanted to, imagined that what he saw in Finn’s face was the same affection he felt himself. He spun, their hands touching, felt the press of Finn’s palm like an electric tingle down his spine. He let Finn pull him close, felt the combined heat of their bodies, imagined it as the prelude to more. 

He let himself think that he was Finn’s and Finn was his and then in a few moments it was finished, done, the illusion revealed as just that, an illusion. The dance was only a dance and Finn would never be Poe’s because he belonged to Artorias.

The Resistance had made Finn one of their own but that was no longer to be. Finn belonged to the people of Artorias and so Poe would give him to them. 

When the dance finished they were supposed to step back and bow to each other but Poe held onto Finn’s hands, dropped to one knee. He knelt there on the floor in front of Finn, looked up at him through his eyelashes.

“Poe,” Finn was saying, tugging at his hands, eyes wide. “Poe, stand up.”

But all around them people were kneeling down, kneeling to their prince. The entire room sank down to the floor until Finn was the only person left standing, Finn and his radiant, beaming parents.

“Prince Finn of Artorias,” King Caled said, spreading his arms wide, bringing everyone back up to their feet.

“Prince Finn,” came the echo, and then something in Artorian that Poe couldn’t translate.

Finn finally forced Poe back up, his dark skin flushed as deeply as it ever got. “Long may he live,” he muttered. “I learned that yesterday.”

“Long may he live,” Poe murmured and didn’t let go of Finn’s hands.

“Let us show our gratitude,” Queen Miri said, her voice rising above all, “to my son’s fine partner, Commander Dameron.” 

This was where Poe was supposed to bow, he knew, so he did, to one side of the room, and then the other. When he straightened again his face felt warm and he desperately wanted to retreat to the fringes and snag one of the glasses of wine the serving droids were floating about with.

But Finn was watching him like they weren’t in the middle of a crowded room, like it was only them. “You shouldn’t have done that. You shouldn’t kneel to me, Poe. Not you.”

Poe thought he could be happy on his knees before Finn for the rest of his life, in a sexy way or otherwise, but he didn’t think that would be the best thing to say out loud. “You’re the prince,” he said because he couldn’t make himself joke.

“I only want to be Finn. Can’t I still be Finn, even if it’s only when I’m with you?”

Feeling like his heart was dissolving into a puddle of goo right there in his chest, Poe let himself brush his knuckles lightly over Finn’s cheek. “You can be whoever you want with me, buddy.”

Then Finn was getting swept away, Queen Miri coming to introduce him around, as the musicians started playing again and dancing couples filled the floor. Poe watched the distance between him and Finn grow, feeling like it must be a slagging metaphor for his life, and then took the opportunity to do what he had wanted to. He found his wine first and then a nice corner to disappear in.

Unfortunately, disappearing wasn’t as easy as he had thought it would be. He hadn’t thought anyone would much care about the pilot from the Resistance but Poe found himself the continued object of attraction for young Artorian women, and not a few men as well. He danced with some of them, chatted with even more, but increasingly wanted to go hide in a corner where no one would pay him any mind.

He even got propositioned by a Twi’lek, bluntly suggestive. Poe was so surprised he could barely put two words together, his gaze sliding across the room to Finn before settling on the Twi’lek again.

“Yeah, I’d save myself for him, too,” the guy said with a sympathetic look, clapping Poe on the shoulder.

“That’s not what I--” Poe began to say, then gave up as the Twi’lek vanished into the crowd.

“You’re always popular, aren’t you?”

Poe turned, found Rey watching him, her smile sharp and amused. “Can I make it stop?”

“Not unless you smash your face in a door, maybe. And chop off all your hair.”

Unconsciously, Poe reached up to feel his hair, to reassure himself it was still there. He could be a little vain, okay? 

Rey was laughing. “Actually it might take more than a door. Remember that thing on Maridun, where we got mixed up in that fight?”

“Of course I remember. Broke my fucking nose.”

“Yeah, it was bleeding everywhere, you looked like druk, except still kind of sexy. I mean, Finn definitely thought so.”

“Aw, come on, Rey.”

“I’m serious! I’m just saying, blood’s not a bad look on you. So the door might not be enough.” Rey stepped closer, her eyes still bright with mirth, but she said, somewhat more seriously, “You guys looked really good together tonight.”

Poe tried not to think about how no one would ever be able to say that again. “Finn put a lot of effort into it, learning the dance. It meant a lot to him.”

“He’s grateful for your help, you know.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Poe,” Rey said, and she wasn’t joking at all any more. “Why haven’t you told Finn how you feel?”

There was no point trying to deny anything. “Seemed easier not to. I might have… Well, it doesn’t matter anymore. I can’t tell him now.”

“Why not?”

“You know why.” 

“But you love him, don’t you?”

“I don’t think that matters. Can you see a future for us, Rey? I have to go back to the Resistance and he… Well, he’s going to be the king of Artorias one day.”

Rey was frowning, her pretty bow mouth downturned. “It can’t be over, just like that. There has to be _something_.”

Except sometimes there just wasn’t. Poe was old enough to know that. 

Poe looked at Finn across the crowded room, his face kriffing _glowing,_ and he knew what he had to do. He couldn’t make this easy, but maybe he could make it easier.

This thing, this thing that he had wanted, that he had let himself hope for, it was over, it was done. Finn was the prince of Artorias. Poe was a pilot.

It would be better for everyone if Poe just let go.

  



	6. Chapter 6

The late night led to a late morning the next day. Poe sort of wanted to stay in bed forever but sadly, that wasn’t actually an option. He had consumed far, far too much wine and his head was spinning slightly but Poe figured he probably deserved that. He was old enough to know when to cut himself off but he had blithely sailed right past that mark and kept going instead.

Finn was gone when Poe emerged from his bedroom. Poe thought probably he’d gone to meditate, either with the Artorians or with Rey and Luke. Sometimes Poe wondered if he should ask someone to teach him how to meditate. He wondered if it might help. He was no Force user like they were but he definitely had a noisy mind.

It was actually Ambassador Lee that Poe ended up seeing first. A blinking light on the console alerted him to a message she had left, requesting to meet.

Over lunch, they made early inroads into discussing an alliance between Artorias and the Resistance. Poe found himself enormously pleased with the progress they made, hopeful for the future and eager to speak to Leia about it. If he was losing her a valuable asset in Finn at least he might be bringing her an entire planet to make use of instead.

Less pleasurable was the news Ambassador Lee shared about the ceremony King Caled and Queen Miri were planning to hold tomorrow, to name Finn their heir.

“I’d thought it would take longer,” Poe finally managed to say, his mouth dry.

“We saw no reason to wait. It will be cause for our people to celebrate. Our future has been so long in doubt. For many years it hardly seemed to matter, but Caled and Miri are not quite as young as they used to be.”

“And Finn? Finn has already agreed to this?”

Her expression told Poe all he needed to know.

That was it, then. It was truly over.

It was lucky Poe had already decided what to do.

“You are welcome to stay, you know, Commander,” Ambassador Lee said. “You are welcome to stay as long as you wish. Perhaps with the alliance, you could even coordinate--”

“That won’t be possible,” Poe interrupted. “Or necessary. Thank you. No, I’ll be returning to our base soon. A few days, maybe.”

Ambassador Lee fixed him with her overly shrewd gaze. “And does Finn know of this?”

Poe closed his fist, his nails biting into his palm. “He will soon enough.”

-

After speaking with the ambassador, Poe got in touch with Leia. In his eagerness he had misjudged the timing and saw that she must have been in bed, her hair loose and a robe over her shoulders.

“I’m so sorry, General, I can just leave you a message, if that will be easier?”

She waved him off. “No need, you’ve already got me. What was so important?”

So Poe explained the situation and his hopes, watching his own excitement reflected on Leia’s face.

“I knew you would come through for us, Poe,” she said. “And Finn? Will he be staying on Artorias?”

Poe nodded, unable to form the words.

Leia sighed. “Good for him, though I won’t deny we will miss him.”

“Yes,” Poe managed, voice rough.

“I’m sorry, Poe,” Leia said, because she knew, of course she knew.

“We’ll talk again soon,” Poe said before he could start dumping all of his issues onto Leia. “I’ll keep you informed. Have a good night.”

He didn’t see Finn until later, in their suite. Finn must have only just beat him there because he was still sweaty and dressed in snug-fitting, casual clothing as though he had been working out. Poe inwardly cursed his timing though he couldn’t help but admire the view anyway. He could see a sheen of sweat on Finn’s neck and he wanted to lick it off, he wanted -

“Hey,” Finn said, rubbing a hand over his hair. “Sorry, I’m a bit smelly probably. Was just doing some training with Rey.”

“I hadn’t noticed,” Poe said, which only earned him a weird look. “So, hey. I think we should talk.”

“Yeah, actually, I wanted to tell you… They’re doing the ceremony tomorrow. To name me the heir.”

“Ambassador Lee told me.”

“You’ll be there?” Finn looked so hopeful and trusting. It made Poe hate himself a little bit.

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Poe said, hoping that his smile looked halfway natural. He had to say it now or he never would. _Grow a pair, Dameron._ “It’s just, uh, after that. I should go. I am going. I’m gonna head back to the Resistance in a few days. Maybe three. Still a few things to discuss with the ambassador and then I want to make sure the freighter’s in good shape first, and, uh, make sure you’re okay before I leave.”

Finn was staring at Poe like he’d just killed his pet or something. “You’re leaving?”

“You knew I would.”

“Yeah, but… But _Poe._ ”

The way Finn said Poe’s name _did_ something to him. It took so much willpower to continue on. “This isn’t my home, Finn. It’s yours.”

“You’ve been here as long as I have! This place isn’t anything to me! Poe, how can you just… Just leave me?”

 _Don’t say it like that,_ Poe thought. _Don’t say it like that._ “You know the Resistance needs me.”

“No, I know that _you_ need _it_ ,” Finn threw back at him, harsh and accusatory.

Poe stood there in silence, unable to find a way to argue that. Anything he could say felt flat and useless. In the end all he managed was, “I’m still your friend, Finn. I always will be.”

If Poe had any hope at all of that appeasing Finn, it died with Finn’s bitter tone. “But you won’t be with me.”

“I’m sorry.” Flat and useless, but Poe didn’t know what else to say.

“I suppose I should be grateful you’re staying long enough for the ceremony. Do you expect me to thank you?”

“No. No, Finn, I don’t.”

“Fine, then. Good. I’ll be in my room.”

Poe watched him leave and stood there in the middle of the suite by himself for a long time afterwards.

-

The ceremony was a simple, private affair. The royal family, the ambassador and a few other Artorian officials, Rey, Luke, and Poe. Finn wore a second set of Artorian clothing, this time a rich velvety blue that was nearly black and that seemed to shimmer faintly when the light hit it.

Finn hadn’t spoken to Poe all day. It wasn’t that he was giving Poe the silent treatment, exactly, it was more that he had endeavored to never be in the same room alone with him. Poe saw him only at breakfast and dinner and Finn had always been carefully engaged in conversation with someone who wasn’t Poe.

Poe figured he probably deserved it.

It still hurt.

He stood next to Rey in the hall where the ceremony was held and couldn’t take his eyes off Finn. It was all in Artorian but Ambassador Lee was translating, entirely for their benefit. Well, for Finn, mostly, who could converse in his native language on only the most basic level.

He would learn, though, of that Poe had no doubt. Finn was smart, smarter than he believed himself.

He would be fine. He didn’t really need Poe. He only thought he did, like a child’s toy he had outgrown but wanted to hang onto out of nostalgia.

All right, maybe that was just Poe being a bit maudlin and sorry for himself. He knew he meant more to Finn than that. But the truth was, Finn would get by. He would be sad for a while, sure, but he would have more than enough to focus on. He would forget his sadness soon enough.

Maybe Poe would forget his, too. He could hope, anyway.

King Caled set the golden circlet on Finn’s head and it shone against his black hair. Finn turned to face them all, his smile bright and nervous.

Rey whistled and it made Finn laugh, his nervousness vanishing.

Afterwards there was what Poe could only call a party, much bigger and more public than the actual ceremony and less formal than the ball. Poe suspected that if he hadn’t been in such a forlorn mood he would have greatly enjoyed himself. As it stood, the crowd bothered him and he hovered on the edges, nursing a glass of sweet Artorian alcoholic cider.

He watched Rey and Finn dancing, smiling and giggling and swinging each other around the room like the careless children they should have been, not a thing to worry their pretty heads. Luke got snatched up by an Artorian woman with a sharp smile and nice hips; Poe wasn’t sure he had ever seen Luke look quite so awkward and caught off guard.

“A handsome young man like you shouldn’t be left alone in a corner.”

Poe startled enough that his hand jerked, so he steadied himself before he could lose any of his drink. He faced the queen. “I’m afraid I don’t feel much like dancing.”

“Shame,” Queen Miri’s lips twitched upwards. “Not even for me? One dance?”

Poe hesitated and then gave the only answer he could. “Just one, for you.” He finished his drink and set it down, then held out his hand, a bit charmed in spite of himself. She was lovely. Poe could see so much of her warmth in her son.

They glided over the floor, flitting in amidst the other couples. Queen Miri said, “I was sorry to hear that you will be leaving us so soon.”

Poe should have told her in person. She deserved that; it had been rude of him. “I’ve been away longer than we had planned. The Resistance--”

“Of course,” Queen Miri said, tone gentle. “I wasn’t asking for an explanation; I know how important your cause is-- and how important you are to it.”

“No more than any other,” Poe said, feeling himself flush.

“We both know that isn’t true.”

False modesty was unbecoming so Poe didn’t argue. He knew he was a good pilot; he knew that Leia trusted him and relied on him. That was why he needed to go back. “I just want to do what I can.”

Queen Miri was smiling. “I know why Finn cares for you so much.”

“Not sure he does at the moment.”

She was still smiling, but it was a small, wistful sort of smile, the sort of smile that had long years behind it. “You can only hurt him because he cares, Poe. He’s afraid to lose you.”

“He won’t! I told him, I would never--”

“Can you tell me honestly that you aren’t bothered by the thought of parting from him?”

“Of course not.”

“There, then. You’ve proved my point.”

“I can’t stay here,” Poe breathed out, and the words _hurt._ Why couldn’t they understand?

The queen made an elegant bow as the dance ended. “We all must make the best choices we feel we can, for ourselves, and for those we care about. I’m sure whatever decision you make will be the best one.” She pressed her long fingers to Poe’s shoulder briefly. “Thank you for the dance, Poe. You make me feel quite like a young girl again.”

Dancing couples swirled around Poe as he stood there and he needed to be out, he needed to be out of there, somewhere he could breathe. He pushed through the crowd, murmuring apologies, and stopped outside in the hall, body folding over, hands to his knees.

He wanted Karé desperately. He nearly ran to see if he couldn’t get her on the HoloNet, just so at least he could see her face, but he knew she would be busy. She didn’t need to be bothered with Poe’s sad drama, so many light years away.

Poe let himself sink down to the floor, leaning his back against the wall. He didn’t even care who saw him.

He wasn’t sure how long it was before Rey came out and found him, sat on the floor beside him and let him lean on her. She didn’t say anything but that was all right; all he needed was her.

-

In the suite, Poe was huddled up on the sofa with his datapad, watching old vids from when he was in the Academy. Frag, he had been young and stupid.

It was late into the night by the time Finn returned, his eyes glassy and his gait just off, as if he had enjoyed the selection of beverages a good deal. Too much, maybe, but Poe wasn’t hypocritical enough to judge. Particularly not given what he had just been watching – Finn was hardly older now than Poe had been then.

“Hey,” Poe said warily as Finn approached. He turned off his datapad and sat up, then thought better of it and rose to his feet. He figured either he was going to need to make a quick escape or they were about to have a conversation he needed to be on his feet for.

Or else he might need to help Finn into his bed so he wouldn’t pass out on the floor.

“You left early,” Finn said. “Practicing?”

Poe felt that cut like a knife. “I wasn’t feeling well.”

“Seems to happen a lot when it’s something important to me.”

“Finn, I would never--”

“Never what? Leave me? Because I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what you’re doing.”

“It isn’t about you or me. The Resistance is bigger than that. I have to, Finn. You have your new crown and I have the Resistance. We all do what we have to.”

“Why are you still here then?” Finn asked, voice growing progressively louder and more intense. “Just go! Go if that’s what you want!”

The point was that it _wasn’t_ what Poe wanted. Well, sort of. He wanted the Resistance, that much was true.

But the Resistance didn’t feel quite like home anymore if Finn wasn’t part of it.

“I don’t think we should do this now,” Poe tried.

“Yeah? When should we do it, then? Because seems to me you won’t be here much longer.”

“I think we should do this in the morning, when you haven’t been drinking.”

“I’m thinking pretty clearly, you can be sure of that.”

“Finn, please. I don’t want to fight with you.”

“I’m not fighting. I’m being honest. Let’s be honest, Poe. You were never going to stay, were you? You were always going to leave me here.”

“Don’t say it like…” Like what? It was true regardless. Poe was leaving Finn, even if that wasn’t how he wanted to think of it.

He couldn’t finish, letting his words hang in the air.

“Yeah,” Finn said, a wry, unhappy tilt to his lips. “That’s what I thought.”

“You’re the heir to the Artorian throne. You chose that. You could have said no.”

“I know.”

“This is your home. This is what you wanted,” Poe said because he had to believe that. He had to.

Finn’s hand twitched at his side as if he was thinking of reaching towards Poe but he only curled his fingers into a fist. “I wanted a lot of things.”

 _So did I,_ Poe thought, but he couldn’t say it.

Finn said, “Will you ask me to come with you?”

Poe felt like he was choking, like he couldn’t breathe. He forced the word out. “No,” he said, moving past Finn to walk out, and it was maybe the hardest thing he had ever done.

“Poe,” Finn said, his tone making Poe unable to ignore him.

He turned back around.

Finn looked small standing there in his fine clothes, a ring of golden leaves on his head, small and sad and lost. “You said you would make this be okay.”

 _This is how I do that,_ Poe thought. _This is how I make it okay, for you, and maybe one day you’ll get that._ “I’m sorry,” Poe said. “Guess I was full of shit, like always.”

He raised his hand to the controls and walked through as the door slid open, then slid shut behind him. He collapsed against the wall beside the door.

 _Frag,_ he thought to himself. _Frag._

Poe rubbed his hands over his face and tried to stop picturing Finn in his head, how he had looked standing there. There was a horrible knotted feeling in the pit of Poe’s stomach and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to cry or vomit or go throw himself off the edge of that bridge by the lake.

He wanted Karé, he wanted BB, he wanted…

He knew exactly what he wanted. 

He wanted his dad.

Poe couldn’t think straight, couldn’t remember what time it would be back on base. That was all right, though, because it was probably better if he didn’t try to speak to Leia directly. He was afraid that if he actually saw her face he might cry and he didn’t want Leia to see him cry, so he simply transmitted a message over the secure HoloNet channel.

_General, I know I’ve already been away for some time but I’d like to request one day to visit my father on Yavin 4. Then I’m all yours._

Leia’s reply came more swiftly than Poe had expected. _I think we can manage a while longer without you. Are you all right, Poe?_

Poe pinched the bridge of his nose and composed himself.

_I will be._

-

Poe barely slept. He spent most of the night out walking, thinking, completely failing at trying to clear his head. Eventually he went to sleep in an empty drawing room, lying down on a big, soft sofa.

He woke up with sunlight pouring into the room, exhausted and feeling a crick in his neck.

It took him a second to realize he wasn’t alone, either.

“Kriff, Rey, you scared me,” he said, sitting up, rubbing the back of his neck.

She was crouched down beside the sofa, just watching him. Unrepentantly she clambered up to sit beside him, legs folded underneath herself. “A droid found you in here. What are you doing?”

“Sleeping poorly. Also hiding extremely poorly, it seems.”

“You fought with Finn.” It wasn’t a question.

“It wasn’t really a fight, more a… Yeah, we fought.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Strangely enough, you aren’t the first person who’s told me that.”

“Because you are!” Rey shoved Poe’s shoulder. “What’s wrong with you?”

“My head hurts, I feel like druk, I barely slept. Please clarify.”

“You love Finn, don’t you?”

Poe nodded helplessly.

“Then why are you doing this?”

“I’m just being realistic, I’m… Rey, what the hell am I supposed to do? The fact that I love him is irrelevant. It can’t work.”

“According to who? You? You won’t even try. You won’t give yourself the opportunity.”

“Finn doesn’t even--”

“Don’t kriffing say it,” Rey warned. “You’ve never given Finn the chance to love you.”

Poe couldn’t think about that. He couldn’t. He couldn’t consider it. Because if Finn loved him, Poe would… Poe would _beg_ him to leave, and that wasn’t fair. “I’m not Finn’s keeper. I can’t tell him what to do, and I won’t. I’m just giving him the space to have what he wants.”

“But you’re assuming that you know what he wants. Have you actually asked him?”

 _I wish they were normal,_ Finn had said.

 _How can I not?_ Finn had said.

Finn had made his choice. It was the choice Poe had always known he would make. “He wants to stay here,” Poe said.

“No, he doesn’t!” Rey exclaimed. “He wants to go with you and he wants you to ask him so he’ll know that’s what you want, too.”

”That isn’t--”

“He’s not ready, Poe. He’s not ready for this, to be part of a royal family, to rule this planet. He isn’t ready to leave the first place he ever felt like he truly belonged.”

“But--”

Rey actually shushed him. “You don’t know what it’s like. You’ve always had a family; you don’t know anything else. You don’t know how it feels to be us.”

The look on her face broke Poe’s heart a little bit but he couldn’t think about that, about Rey and Finn and their lonely childhoods, because there was nothing Poe could do to fix that. He could only do what he thought would help them now. “And now he has a family! He has one, and I’m not gonna be the one to take that away from him.”

Rey made this incredulous, scoffing sound, like she couldn’t believe how thick Poe was being. “Don’t you get it? He already had a family. He’d made one himself. With you. With you and me and the Resistance, but now he thinks maybe he was wrong, maybe you never cared that much at all.”

Horrified, Poe said, “That’s not true!”

“He needs you to tell him that.”

“I have; I told him he’s still my friend. He has to know how important he is to me.”

“Does he, though? You’ve been so determined not to let him know how you feel, Poe.”

“I didn’t want to make this harder.”

“It’s already hard. Maybe if you were honest about your emotions the two of you could arrive at some honest, true decisions, instead of just dancing around everything and going off half-cocked because neither of you knows what the other really wants.”

Poe felt like this conversation was only going to lead him in circles. Poe could tell Finn how he felt; he could. He just didn’t know what the point was. “But what is that going to change? It’ll only make him feel worse about not being able to come back with me. I know Finn cares about the Resistance, about what we do, but why would he choose that over the life he could have here? That’s crazy.”

“It isn’t about the Resistance! Finn isn’t like you. You want to mold the galaxy into what you think it should be, like your rebel parents, but Finn, he… Finn fights for the people he loves, the people who have earned his loyalty. He’ll stay on Artorias for the king and queen, for duty, to have a purpose. But it isn’t what he wants. He wants to be with you, with us, but he knows you’ll never stay. He knows you can’t stay.”

 _I know that_ you _need_ it, Finn had said.

It was maybe the truest thing anyone had ever said to Poe.

Circles, Poe thought again. “That just leaves us where we already were. I can’t stay. He can’t go. He’s the heir to the throne.”

“Yes, he’s the _heir._ He’s not the king.”

Poe stared at Rey with wide eyes. “But--”

“When the war is over, Artorias will still be here,” Rey said, though the words stuck in her mouth for a second. She and Poe both knew what had happened to the Hosnian system. “But you might not be.”

Though he was fairly certain Finn was the sort of person Poe would never get over, he knew what Rey meant. You couldn’t expect a person to wait years for you to become available.

Not even if Poe would. He would wait forever for Finn, if it came to it.

Besides which, there was the unpleasant literal connotation of what Rey had said. “I’m fairly hardy. Would take a lot to do me in.”

Rey looked unimpressed. “Do you think he could ever be happy knowing that you’re halfway across the galaxy where he can’t help you? Where he can’t have your back? Knowing that there is a very real possibility that one day he’ll get word that you’ve been shot down, that your ship blew up in space and there won’t even be a body for him to say goodbye to?”

Poe knew that that could happen anyway, no matter where in the galaxy Finn was, but he understood Rey’s point. He thought of how he would feel if their positions were reversed, if he knew that Finn was light years away, risking his life, and there was nothing Poe could do about it.

“I thought I was doing the right thing,” he said. “I thought this was what was best.”

“I know you did. But maybe you should let Finn decide what’s best for himself.”

“I tried to, I--”

“You’ve never let Finn have all the information,” Rey interrupted. “You let him make the only choice he could because he didn’t know there was a better option. An option with you.”

“So… so he comes back with me, and then what? He’s still going to be king.”

“Someday.”

“And I’ll still be a pilot.”

“I think the only person who cares about that is you, Poe.”

Could Rey actually be right? Could this be something that might actually work, something that Poe could have? It seemed crazy to hope. Poe had been resigning himself to a life where he wasn’t with Finn for so long that he didn’t know what to do with the idea that he might have been wrong.

“If,” he said, the words coming slowly, “if Finn loves me, if Finn wants this, if we win the war and come back here. What exactly am I supposed to do while he’s ruling a kriffing planet?”

“Be his consort?”

“His consort? Maybe we should go on a date first.”

“I thought your first date was in a TIE fighter.”

“Well, you know, he was cute and I was high on not dying.”

Rey laughed, bright and happy, and she took Poe’s arm, interlacing it with hers as she leaned into him. “You’re so good together, Poe. I don’t know why you won’t try. What do you have to lose?”

Nothing, Poe realized. Absolutely nothing. If it didn’t work, Poe would only end up in the position he had been planning on, back in the Resistance, without Finn.

“How come it makes sense when you say it?” Poe asked. “This whole time I thought… I thought it was hopeless. But when you say it, I think maybe it’s not hopeless after all.”

“Well, I think we’ve already covered that, actually. You’re an idiot and I’m not.”

“Of course, I’d forgotten,” Poe said, watching her face, thinking about how much he kriffing loved her.

When Poe had first met Rey, she had been like a feral Loth-cat, craving affection but afraid to trust, guarded but wanting desperately. The fact that she had let him in, warmed to him, felt like a gift.

“You’re different, Rey. Being a Jedi suits you.”

“I’m who I was meant to be,” Rey said, her glowing smile warming her face. “I can see how everything, everyone, is connected through the Force, how life flows. You, me, Finn. It’s like… it’s like it all just makes sense now.”

“I wish it was that easy for me.”

“I never said anything about easy. But the things that are hard, those are the things that are worth the most. Don’t you think?”

“Yes,” Poe said, and thought about Finn’s face. “Be nice if I could borrow some of your courage, though.”

“You’re Poe Dameron, ace pilot for the Resistance! You’re as brave as anyone.”

“Yeah, when I’m in a ship.”

“So talk to him in a ship. Use the _Falcon;_ I’m sure she’s seen plenty of awkward conversations over the years.”

Poe laughed and thought of Leia, how many memories she must have in the _Falcon,_ and wondered what she would think of Poe borrowing the ship to try to work things out with Finn. He liked to think she would approve.

“Just don’t tell Chewbacca,” Poe said and impulsively leaned in to kiss Rey just off the corner of her mouth.

Her fingers curled into Poe’s shirt. “You’re kissing the wrong person here, Poe.”

“Maybe,” Poe said, and kissed her again on the cheek, twice, so that she giggled and pushed him away.

“Dork,” she said. “Finn will be so jealous; you’ve kissed me first.”

“Do you know,” he said, mostly thinking out loud, “it’s not even about that? I mean, obviously I would be thrilled if there’s kissing in my future, but I just want… I just want _Finn._ In whatever way he’ll have me. If that’s only as friends, I can live with that.”

Rey was looking at him with this soft, fond expression. “You really love him, don’t you? But I don’t think you need to worry. I think Finn would be more than happy to kiss you as much as you want.”

“I don’t know, that’s an awful lot of kissing.”

Rey giggled again and said, “Maybe keep that to the _Falcon_ and spare us the view.”

Poe sighed theatrically. “I can try but I make no promises.”

First, though, first he needed to work up the nerve.


	7. Chapter 7

Poe was in the _Millennium Falcon,_ sitting in the pilot’s seat. He hadn’t actually told Finn he wanted to talk to him, but he was here, anyway, trying to figure out how to do this.

He was in a cockpit. He was brave in cockpits. He trusted himself when he flew. He didn’t overthink. Actually he didn’t think much at all; he just did. It was all about the goal; it was about the rush and the adrenaline. There was nobody better in the air, so why shouldn’t he be able to do anything?

It was different on the ground. He had had his heart broken too many times.

He wondered if Han Solo had sat in this chair once, dreaming of Leia. He had been a smuggler trying to romance a princess; surely he had had fears, too. Poe had met Han a few times growing up, mostly when Poe was too young to be anything but in awe of Han Solo, hero of the Rebellion, pilot of the _Millennium Falcon._ His father’s stories had always emphasized Han’s strengths.

Leia’s stories made him seem a bit more real. So did Finn’s.

Poe wished he could have known Han better. He wished he could ask him how he had done it, how he had been a pilot married to a princess. 

He heard footsteps behind him and thought maybe it was Rey, but when he turned he saw that it was Finn. Poe stood up quickly, banging his knee on the chair when he tried to move around it and cursing himself inwardly.

Finn stood there in front of Poe, an air of discomfort hanging on him. He wasn’t wearing the golden circlet but he was wearing Poe’s old jacket. “Rey said I’d find you here.”

Rey. Always so helpful.

“Here I am,” Poe said, because he was a slagging idiot. _Here I am._ Stars.

“Guess you’ll be leaving soon.”

“Yeah,” Poe said. 

There was his opening. _Say it, Poe. Say, ‘Come with me. I don’t want to leave you. I can’t lose you.’_

But he couldn’t make himself. He knew what Rey had said but how could Poe ask that of Finn? How could he say, _leave your family just for me?_ It wasn’t fair.

Poe wasn’t prepared to give up the Resistance for Finn, no matter how much he loved him. How could Poe ever ask Finn to give up Artorias for him?

“I guess you’re probably still pretty mad at me,” he said instead.

Finn shook his head. “I know it wasn’t fair, what I asked you. I just wish… I wish things were different.”

“You’ll have your family, Finn. It’s what you’ve always wanted.”

“I know. But I also wanted…” Finn’s gaze dropped down from Poe’s face to somewhere around his collar bones before rising again. “Anyway, I guess that can’t happen. And I know you have to go. The Resistance needs you. You’d never be happy here.”

 _I would be happy with you,_ Poe thought, absurdly sentimental, but he knew that wasn’t really true. He would never be able to settle here, like the First Order wasn’t still a threat, like his friends weren’t out there fighting. Rebellion was in Poe’s blood and not even his love for Finn could keep his eyes from the skies. 

_I know that_ you _need_ it.

Maybe that made Poe selfish. He didn’t think he could change.

Rey had said that Poe needed to tell Finn how he felt so that Finn could make the best decision he could. She had said that in trying to give Finn space he had only been pushing him away. So maybe Poe couldn’t ask, but he would just tell Finn how much he wished for the same things, that they wouldn’t be parted, so that Finn would know how much he – 

And then Finn was saying, “I’m scared, Poe.”

In a gesture that was purely reactive, without thought, Poe moved forward and rested his hand on Finn’s shoulder. “Why, buddy?”

“Because I don’t know what I’m doing! I don’t know how to be a prince, let alone…”

“You have so many people to help you. You have your parents. You’ll be fine; I know you will be. I believe in you.”

“I won’t have Rey. I won’t have you.”

Poe didn’t know how it had happened but he was touching bare skin; he’d pushed aside the collar of Finn’s jacket until he could rub his thumb over the base of Finn’s neck. “You will always have me, Finn. You know that if anything happened, if you ever needed me, I would come find you, don’t you? No matter where I am; I’ll come find you. I’ll always find you. Finn, you’re… you’re the most important… I _love_ you.”

There it was, out in the open. Poe hadn’t even thought about it; the words had just spilled from his lips. Poe couldn’t take them back but he didn’t want to.

He loved Finn. Now Finn knew it.

“Please,” Finn said, leaning that much closer in, pressing his cheek to Poe’s. “Please tell me you want me with you. Tell me you want me to come with you.”

No more secrets and half-truths, Poe decided. He wasn’t good at it. He was better at being honest. “Fuck, of course I do, Finn. Of course I do. I want you with me always.”

Finn made this breathy pleased sound close to Poe’s ear and his arms tightened around Poe’s back. After that it seemed the easiest thing for Poe to tilt his head, to find Finn’s mouth, to kiss him like he had wanted to for so long.

Then Poe wasn’t thinking at all because _Finn,_ Finn was kissing him back, eager and enthusiastic, his hands skimming up Poe’s sides. He was so kriffing warm, and firm, his body pressed to Poe’s, and Poe wanted his hands everywhere, on Finn’s back, his hips, his ass. He didn’t bother with sweet or gentle; he kissed Finn deep and wet and filthy, kissed him like he had in his guiltiest dreams. 

Poe might have wondered if Finn had done this before, if he had ever even kissed anyone, only Finn sure didn’t kiss like he was new at this. He grabbed a fistful of hair at the back of Poe’s head, fingers tangling in the curls, and pulled, like he was trying to keep Poe where he wanted him. Poe moaned because – because _fuck_ – 

“I’m sorry,” he gasped against Finn’s mouth. “Kriff, I’m sorry.”

Now Finn moved enough to see Poe’s face, though he left his hand where it was. “What the hell are you apologizing for?”

“Because we’re supposed to be talking; we should talk about this.”

“We can talk later; just kiss me now please?”

Poe wasn’t strong enough to argue with that so he kissed Finn again, sank into it, dipped his fingers into the waistband of Finn’s pants like maybe he could pull Finn closer, closer, closer. Finn made this rough noise in the back of his throat, pushed Poe backwards until he knocked into the console, one hand reaching out blindly behind him. 

He grazed his teeth over Finn’s lip. “Not that the thought of making out on the console of the _Millennium Falcon_ isn’t fucking sexy, buddy,” he said, the words coming out breathier than he’d meant, “but I really don’t wanna break something with my ass.”

Finn laughed against Poe’s lips. “Guess that might be embarrassing to have to explain to Chewie.”

Poe moved back, offered Finn a grin. “Chewie, hell, I wouldn’t even want to have to tell it to Rey.” He nudged Finn a few steps forward, pushed his shoulders until he dropped into the pilot’s chair. Poe settled on top of him, straddling Finn’s thighs, then leaned down and kissed him, over and over, nothing but the wet slide of their mouths, Finn’s hands in Poe’s hair, rubbing down his spine, squeezing his ass, wandering up beneath the edge of his shirt.

He genuinely wasn’t sure how much time passed before he leant his forehead against Finn’s, felt his warm breath on his face. He rubbed his hands over Finn’s shoulders and sank down onto Finn’s lap. Finn wrapped his arms around Poe, pressing his cheek to Poe’s chest.

Poe dragged his fingers down through Finn’s hair, up and down over his scalp. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long, you have no idea.”

“You should’ve done it sooner, then. I would’ve been all for it.”

“Sure, you tell me that now.” Poe knew he had been stupid, though. So much time wasted because he had been afraid. “What does this mean, Finn?” he asked, voice low.

He was still afraid, afraid to know the answer, but at least now he would know that he had tried.

“Don’t you know, Poe?” Finn’s cheek was still against Poe’s chest and he tightened his grip. “I want to be with you. I want to go back to the Resistance; I want to fight the war with you.”

Poe had to pause a moment before he spoke, feeling like something was constricting his throat. “And Artorias? The throne, your family?”

“When it’s done, then I’ll come back. Maybe… maybe then you’ll want to be here, too. I know it’s not a little place like you’ve dreamed of, but…” Finn’s voice trailed off.

Tugging at the short strands of Finn’s hair until Finn looked up at him, Poe said, “I only wanted that little place because I hoped you’d be there in it with me. The only future I want is with you.”

Fuck. He was such a sap.

“That’s unsurprisingly sentimental of you,” Finn said, but his smile was wide and happy.

“You know what, I have no idea why I said I love you. Dunno what came over me.”

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“That’s rude. Not all of us can lie to Leia Organa’s face and tell her, oh, yeah, sure, I know exactly how to disable the shields on Starkiller Base, I absolutely did not work in sanitation while I was stationed there.”

“I think if you were trying to save someone, you could figure out how to lie, too,” Finn said, softly and seriously. Then he brightened and added, “But try not to figure it out too quickly; I like beating you at sabacc.”

“Hey, if you’re any good at sabacc it’s because I taught you, remember that.”

“Right,” Finn said, sounding so disbelieving it was a bit insulting. 

Poe didn’t have long to be insulted, though, because then Finn was just gazing at him, somewhat nervously, and saying, “I didn’t say it before but I think I love you, too, Poe. I don’t know how it’s supposed to feel but I know I never want you to leave so I think that must be love.”

Poe’s throat was constricting again, this warm rush of pleasure building up inside him and threatening to spill over. Finn loved him. Actually loved him. He wasn’t sure how to deal with it except to hold Finn close and kiss the top of his head, feeling rather like he never, ever wanted to let go. 

“I don’t ever want to leave you,” he said, “so I think that will work out.”

“Good,” Finn said, faintly muffled from where Poe was crushing him into his chest.

Releasing his grip just a little, Poe said, “If you come with me, I want you to be sure. Please don’t do this just for me, Finn.”

There wasn’t any hesitation when Finn spoke. “I’m not. I mean, you’re the most important reason? But I’m… I don’t want to leave Rey, or my friends, not when I can help them. It doesn’t feel right, me being here, safe and protected, while you’re risking your lives to keep us that way. I know I have so much to learn about Artorias, about being king, but I can’t concentrate on that while I’m worrying for you.”

Then Finn paused, like he was assessing something in his head, and Poe let him figure it out without pressing him. “This is too big, it’s too much, I’m… I’m not ready for it. I’m not ready to stay here and be the Artorian heir. I think if I have some time, if I do this first, the Resistance, the war, I think I’ll be a better prince.”

Maybe Finn wasn’t like Poe, rebellion flowing through his veins, but he was maybe the best man Poe knew. “Okay,” he said. “Okay, then, that’s what we’re doing. We’re going back to base, you and me. We’ll do this together.”

“Do you think they’ll understand? My parents? I’m afraid of disappointing them.”

“You’re a good man, Finn. That’s why you’re leaving. I think they’ll be proud of you.”

Finn still seemed uncertain but he said, “How am I going to tell them?”

“It’ll be okay. I’ll go with you.”

“It’ll be okay,” Finn repeated, as though he was convincing himself. “You kept your promise after all. You’re making it all okay, like you said you would.”

“I shouldn’t have said that. I think… I think I’ve been spending most of my time making things worse, honestly, and I’m kind of a mess, in case you hadn’t noticed. But there is something I can promise you-- I will always, always try my best for you.”

Finn smiled at him. “That’s good enough for me.”

“Hey,” Poe said, an idea swimming into focus in his mind. It was either a terrible or an amazing idea, as all the best ones were. “I asked Leia if I could make a detour before I went back to base, so I could visit my dad. Did you maybe want to come with me?”

“And meet your dad?” Finn’s eyes looked huge.

“Er. Yeah. That’s the idea.” Terrible, maybe? A terrible idea?

Finn kissed Poe’s neck, his warm breath fluttering against Poe’s skin. “I’d love that.”

Amazing idea.

-

When they walked down the ramp out of the _Millennium Falcon,_ Poe noticed Rey crouched overhead, near the sublight engines, drilling.

“Has she been here the whole time?” Poe asked.

Finn looked shifty. “Maybe.”

Rey noticed them, glancing down. “If you fucked in the cockpit I hope you cleaned up thoroughly afterwards,” she said, a smirk tugging at her lips.

“Actually, we used one of the bunks in the crew cabin, is that where you’ve been sleeping?” Poe said.

“What?” Rey exclaimed, spots of color brightening on her cheeks.

Poe couldn’t keep it up any longer, though; he couldn’t stop himself from laughing the second he saw Finn rolling his eyes. “Nah, we just made out in the pilot’s chair a bit.”

“That’s hardly better; I sit there.”

“If you think that chair hasn’t seen any action before today, you’re crazy.”

Poe was a pilot. He knew how pilots thought. He was damn sure that Han had had sex in that chair.

Then Finn was laughing, too, and Poe couldn’t help himself; he stole a kiss from Finn’s grinning mouth, and then another, because it was something he could do now. He might have wondered how Rey had known immediately that it had gone well but he knew he didn’t need to; he was certain that his happiness must be written all over his face.

“You two are disgusting, I’m sorry I encouraged you,” Rey said. The sound of the drill started up again.

But Finn’s hand was on Poe’s hip and he was smiling against Poe’s mouth so Poe figured he was perfectly content to be completely disgusting.

-

“Are you still leaving tomorrow?” Finn asked. “Are we leaving tomorrow, I mean?”

He was holding Poe’s hand as they sat by the lake, legs hanging off the side of the bridge. It looked like rain but the air was pleasantly cool.

“Now that you’re coming with me, we can stay longer if you need to. If there are things you need to settle first.”

“I guess I don’t know. Not until I speak to my parents.”

Poe waited.

After a moment Finn said, “I think we should find them now.”

Poe raised Finn’s hand to his lips and kissed each of his knuckles, earning a goofy, indulgent smile from Finn. “Okay, buddy. Let’s do it.”

They found Caled and Miri in the small study behind the throne room, the windows thrown open to let in light and air. The king smiled at them from behind his desk and Miri went over to kiss Finn on the cheek. “Finn, I’m so glad to see you. And of course you as well, Poe.”

They were still holding hands. Finn hadn’t seemed to want to let go so Poe hadn’t made him.

Queen Miri took this in without blinking.

Finn blurted out, “I’m in love with Poe.” He was blushing furiously.

Miri glanced back to her husband, who raised an eyebrow. “I thought that might be true,” she said to Finn.

Finn had opened his mouth to speak but that clearly hadn’t been the response he had expected so he stood there gaping for a second. “What?”

“Finn, darling, neither of you are as clever as you think you are.”

This came as less than a surprise to Poe. He had felt sure the night of the ceremony that Queen Miri knew all about his love for her son. Her gaze had been too pointed, her words too close to the mark. She had spent a far greater amount of time with her son than with Poe, so it followed that she would have known how Finn felt as well.

Poe had meant to let Finn take the lead, knowing it wasn’t his place, but he couldn’t help but say, “You don’t mind?” 

“Should I?” The queen seemed confused.

The king rose to his feet, coming to stand beside his wife. “You think we could ask for more than a brave soldier of the Resistance who loves our son as he deserves?”

Now Poe was blushing. “I’m just a pilot,” he muttered.

Finn squeezed his hand too tightly. “Just a pilot,” he said, half disbelieving and half irritated.

Queen Miri said gently, “We are not in the habit of dictating whom our son should love. Perhaps it is different, on your homeworld? Even should we have raised Finn the way we had wanted, with more of a right to weigh in on his choices, we would trust in his decisions. We know enough of you both to wish only for your happiness. We have always wished only for Finn’s happiness.”

“Is that not what you expected to hear?” King Caled asked, when neither Finn nor Poe could break the silence.

Finn made this choked off sound and then let go of Poe’s hand, all but throwing himself into Miri’s arms. Her arms came around him immediately and she held him to herself.

Like a mother, Poe thought, painfully. He remembered being in his mother’s arms like a dream.

Finn had gone his entire life without that feeling. Poe felt tears prick at the back of his eyes and he had to look away.

There was a low murmur of voices as Queen Miri spoke to Finn in words Poe couldn’t hear. When Poe turned to them again King Caled was standing with a hand on each of their shoulders.

They were such a beautiful, perfect family. Finn met Poe’s eyes and for a moment Poe was terrified. After all that, Finn couldn’t – he couldn’t – he wouldn’t – 

“I can’t stay here,” Finn said, and Poe exhaled. “I want to go with Poe.”

Finally Caled and Miri seemed startled. Miri released Finn enough so that they could look into each other’s faces. “We had the ceremony,” she started, glancing helplessly to her husband before briefly looking at Poe and then back at her son.

“Not… not forever,” Finn assured her. “I just… I have to do this. I have to help Poe, I have to help my friends. I’m not… You’ve been so kind to me but I can’t be your prince, not yet. Not until I’m ready. Is that, uh, is that okay?”

“It was always your choice,” Queen Miri said. “I just…” She took a breath, a small indication that this was one of the rare occasions when she was genuinely rattled. “We weren’t expecting it.”

“When we held the ceremony, we assumed it meant that you wanted to stay,” King Caled added.

Finn looked from one to the other. “I’m sorry, that was my fault. I should have spoken with you. I… I care about you, both of you, and I want to be the son you deserve. But I have to do what feels right for me. Staying here when I can help the Resistance, that doesn’t feel right. I don’t know how to be a prince. But I hope that one day, I will. I hope that you’ll help me.”

Miri wiped a hand beneath her eyes and Poe realized she was crying, eyes wet and bright. She hugged Finn again. “You are more than we could ever have dreamed of,” she said, voice shaky. “We want only what’s best for you.”

“Whatever you do,” Caled said, his hand on Finn’s back, “we know you will make us proud.”

All Poe could think as he watched them was that it was going to be okay. It was really going to be okay. He wasn’t sure he had truly believed it until now, but…

They were going to be okay.

-

Poe left Finn alone after their meeting with the king and queen. His emotions were still running so high and he had this ridiculous desire to not let Finn out his sight, to stay near him always, but he knew that was, well, ridiculous, and they both had their own lives to be getting on with. 

So Poe parted from Finn and met with the ambassador again, before setting up a channel to talk to Leia. He had to wait a few minutes before seeing her but he was in no rush.

“Poe,” she said as her face came into view. “Everything’s going well?”

“Discussions are on course,” Poe agreed and then didn’t bother trying to keep the huge grin off his face. “Also, there’s been a change of plans, General. Finn will be making the trip back to base with me.”

There was an amused tilt to Leia’s lips. “No wonder you look so happy. You have been busy, haven’t you?”

“I don’t think it’s down to me, really.”

“I’m pretty sure if Finn’s joining us again it’s mostly because of you.”

Poe felt himself blush. “Well, maybe,” he admitted, smiling goofily. He declined to mention that Finn’s plan to stay on Artorias had been mostly because of Poe, too.

“Whatever the reason, we’ll be glad to have him back,” Leia said, then took a moment to speak to someone off-screen.

“I won’t take up any more of your time. Just one more thing-- I’m still gonna take that side trip to Yavin Four, if it’s okay.”

“You don’t think it’s a bit quick to be bringing him home to your family?” Leia teased.

Poe pushed a hand through his hair, his smile settling into something smaller and more self-aware. “Honestly, General, I think I’ve waited long enough.”

  



	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one's up later than usual, guys, I was distracted this morning getting together my Rey cosplay for work, and then I used my lunch break to battle my coworkers with fake lightsabers. *g* Anyway, we have reached the end of the fic! Thank you so, so much for all your comments, it's been amazing to receive. <3 I really hope you enjoy the conclusion! Which is mostly smut, I'm so sorry, it's like 2/3 smut, this is why it's rated E. :D (Also, because I know it's a common squick, the smut includes not quite but sort of almost rimming, at the end, when they are, er, cleaning up. FYI.)

They all had dinner together, Poe, Finn, the king and queen, Luke, Rey. It was the happiest Poe could remember feeling in a long time. He kept laughing, even when he was half-certain there wasn’t actually anything to laugh about. The way Rey kept raising her eyebrows at him and rolling her eyes seemed to support that theory. 

He thought afterwards they might do something with Rey but she made a face at them and said, “You guys just keep making eyes at each other and honestly, I don’t want to be in the middle of that. Maybe when I get back from Dagobah you’ll be out of this disgusting, obsessive, crazy in love phase.”

Poe would have argued except he was pretty sure Rey was right. He couldn’t look at Finn without wanting to be pressed up against him, holding him close, and he wanted to be looking at Finn all the time, so…

In their suite, though, Poe found himself feeling suddenly nervous, like maybe he was being pushy without meaning to, like maybe Finn thought Poe expected things of him. Maybe he was making Finn feel uncomfortable. Maybe he was being a sleemo.

“You’re being weird,” Finn said.

Or maybe he was just being weird.

Poe rubbed the back of his head. “I just wanted to say, uh, no expectations? We don’t have to do, uh, anything. We can just watch a film maybe? Or read a novel? Or you can go to your room and I’ll go to mine…” He winced internally and stopped talking.

Finn looked dangerously close to taking his cue from Rey and rolling his eyes. “I’m not a virgin, Poe.”

Poe blinked at him for a second. “I didn’t think that, I--”

A smile was pulling at Finn’s lips. “You totally thought that.”

“Well, hey, come on, I think it was a reasonable assumption, I mean, the First Order, that’s messed up--”

Finn kissed him; Poe’s words were lost in a rush of breath and heat and lips. Which was completely, completely okay. 

They kissed for a long time, until Poe’s breathing grew heavy and his dick started to strain against his pants. He pulled back, kept his cheek pressed to Finn’s so he could feel the quick panting of Finn’s breath on his skin. “Just because you’re not a virgin doesn’t mean we have to have sex. This morning you were angry at me because I was going to leave without you. We don’t have to rush into anything.”

Finn was laughing, which was not exactly the reaction Poe had been expecting. “Poe, I’ve wanted to fuck you for months. Believe me, we are not rushing into anything.”

Startled, Poe pulled back all the way so he could see Finn’s face. “ _Months_? You mean I could’ve been hitting this for _months_ but instead I was using cold water in the ‘fresher because I thought I was being gross and inappropriate?”

“I love you so much, you slagging dork,” Finn said and kissed Poe again, which seemed to be his general response for getting Poe to stop talking.

Poe was fine with that.

“Wait, wait,” Poe said, breaking off, Finn’s hand slipping past the waistband of his pants. “When you say you wanted to fuck me do you actually mean _fuck me_ because--”

Finn growled into Poe’s mouth and bodily dragged him along to the incredibly conveniently large sofa, pulling Poe on top of him. Poe crashed down with an exhale of breath, sprawling onto Finn’s chest, which seemed an excellent set of circumstances.

He took his time kissing Finn, slow and intent, learning what made Finn sigh, what made him clench his fingers around Poe’s biceps, what made his pulse race. He kissed the line of Finn’s jaw, trailed his tongue down over Finn’s neck, bit down lightly on the junction of his shoulder. He sank down and rolled his hips so their erections rubbed together, listening to Finn moan. 

Finn squeezed Poe’s waist, hands beneath his shirt, his fingers kneading into muscle and skin hard enough it would probably bruise. His hips were thrusting upwards and Poe kept up a corresponding friction, half-certain he might end up coming in his pants while they kissed.

“Let me fuck you,” Finn breathed near Poe’s ear.

Poe’s hips stuttered and his voice seemed croaky when he managed, “Yes, damn, yes, please.”

“Want to do it right. Have you got…?”

“Lube in my bag,” Poe said, gasping as his dick slid against Finn’s just right.

Finn exhaled sharply through his nose and pushed at Poe’s shoulders. “You seriously just happen to have lube with you? What exactly were you planning on doing here, Poe?”

Poe just grinned. “I’m prepared for anything, buddy. Besides, don’t need a partner for lube to come in handy.”

Finn made this involuntary needy sound and Poe couldn’t help but lean in for another thorough kiss. “More fun with a partner, though,” he added, rolling off Finn with not a small amount of reluctance.

As he moved off to his bedroom, he took the opportunity to shed himself of his clothes, dropping his shirt on the floor, followed by his belt, then his pants, and finally his underwear. He didn’t need to turn to know that Finn would be watching him. He bit his lip and smiled to himself. He knew it was a good view; he was sure Finn appreciated it.

Even so, Poe was still faintly surprised when he had only just reached his room to feel a strong pair of arms around his middle and Finn nuzzling the back of his neck.

“You did that on purpose,” Finn mumbled into Poe’s skin.

“Maybe.” The hard bulge of Finn’s erection was pressing into Poe’s ass; Poe rocked his hips back, earning the shuddering of Finn’s breath. “Still need the lube,” he said, ducking out from Finn’s arms and rummaging through his bag for a second before triumphantly displaying the small bottle.

“But first,” Poe said, stalking closer to Finn again, “you are entirely, entirely too clothed.”

Finn’s jacket was on the floor within about five seconds and he tried to pull his shirt off so quickly that he got caught in the sleeves.

Laughing, Poe helped rescue him before pressing an open-mouthed kiss to the center of Finn’s broad, muscled chest. He slowly dropped to his knees, trailing kisses lower and lower, while Finn watched him with wide, hungry eyes.

“Maybe let me get the rest?” Poe suggested, his hands going to Finn’s fly. His fingers hovered there for a moment before instead he gripped Finn’s hips, pressing his face into Finn’s crotch and feeling the small, aborted thrusting of Finn’s hips before he caught himself. 

Poe had a sudden vivid image of letting Finn fuck his face and had to drop one hand down to rub himself with the heel. Shit. Not now, but they were definitely going to do that.

Instead maybe he could just… Poe sucked at Finn through his pants, feeling Finn’s hands come to rest on his shoulders, stroking over to the back of his neck and then to his shoulders again.

Smiling up at him while Poe undid Finn’s fly and began tugging his pants down his hips, Poe said, “You can pull my hair. That’s what you want to do, isn’t it?”

“Fuck yes,” Finn said, as though Poe was giving him an excellent gift. He grabbed fistfuls of Poe’s hair, massaging into Poe’s scalp until Poe was practically purring, and then he _pulled._

“Ah, fuck,” Poe said, his head stinging, but he was unable to pretend even to himself that he hadn’t enjoyed it. He steadied himself with his hands on Finn’s ass and let Finn yank again, twice, before he nosed at Finn’s dick through the soft, thin material of his underwear.

“No,” Finn said, “wait,” and insistently tugged until Poe rose to his feet, molded himself against Finn’s body.

He rubbed his thumb in slow circles on Finn’s lower back and rolled his hips sensuously against Finn’s thigh. “No what, babe?”

Finn’s eyelashes fluttered at the endearment and he said, “No, I can’t, I won’t… Poe, if you put your mouth on me I’m not gonna last and I really kriffing need to fuck you.”

“Oh, you need to, huh?” Poe asked, like he wasn’t leaking all over himself at the thought.

“Yes,” Finn said, and then somehow Poe was on his ass on the bed because Finn had half-shoved him and half-thrown him there, _fuck,_ seriously, _fuck._

Finn crawled over him, pressing his back into the mattress as he kissed him, Poe’s hard cock caught pleasurably against the skin of Finn’s stomach. Finn thrust against him and Poe let his hands skim down over the lean line of Finn’s back before he pushed them beneath Finn’s underwear, squeezing Finn’s firm ass. He hoped Finn knew how much Poe appreciated his ass because damn.

Finn laughed breathlessly into Poe’s mouth. “You are really insistent about the no clothes thing.”

“Because you’re still not naked,” Poe whined. To emphasize this sad fact, he wriggled a bit so that he was positioned more suggestively beneath Finn’s currently unavailable dick. “Can’t fuck me with your underwear on.”

Though Finn looked speculative for a moment he said, “Great point,” before finally ridding himself of that last offending article of clothing.

Poe’s gaze immediately dropped down to the thick girth of Finn’s dick as it hung between his legs, gently curving. He ran his tongue over his bottom lip, an action which Finn seemed to take as another invitation for kissing. He caught Poe’s lip between his teeth and rocked his hips torturously, painfully slowly into Poe until Poe was whimpering and fully prepared to beg. 

“Can you just… Please,” Poe said, blunt fingernails cutting into Finn’s skin.

“Yes,” Finn said, nudging Poe’s thighs apart.

Poe swallowed thickly and said, “Lube, what the hell did I do with the lube,” as he ran his hands over the sheets in search of the bottle. He found it after a moment and then moved higher up the bed until his back was against the pillows. He bent his knees, feet flat, legs spread, and flicked the top off the bottle to coat his fingers.

He met Finn’s eyes and sank one finger into himself, hissing through his teeth. He worked his finger in and out, feeling the stretch and burn, almost as good as the mesmerized way Finn was staring at him.

“You’re so kriffing hot,” Finn said, rough and raspy.

Poe bit his lip and spread his legs a little wider, just showing off now, really, and Finn surged up between his splayed thighs, pressing Poe back against the headboard and kissing him senseless. Poe’s arm was caught at an awkward angle but he couldn’t quite manage to care.

They were both breathing raggedly when Finn pulled back, picking up the discarded bottle of lube. “Let me help you,” he said, and Poe could only make a strangled noise that he hoped communicated his agreement.

Finn smirked at him and inserted one thick finger beside Poe’s, dragging another strangled sound out of Poe’s throat. Poe watched Finn watching him, watched Finn gazing at the in and out push of their fingers in Poe’s hole, his tongue caught between his teeth.

It was so damn sexy and Poe could feel his body beginning to tremble, nerve endings on fire, desperately wanting to push down against their fingers. He dug his other hand down into the sheets and tore his eyes away from Finn, looking up at the ceiling and trying to breathe deeper, trying to bring himself back down to a more even keel before he came without so much as a hand on his straining cock.

He bit his tongue when Finn hooked his finger in deep, found that – _ah_ – that spot, massaged it with his fingertip when he saw Poe’s reaction. Poe swore in Ryl and lost the movement of his own finger, letting it slide out while he tried to fuck himself on Finn’s hand. 

“I could just watch you like this,” Finn murmured, slipping in another finger. “So kriffing sexy. I could make you come like this, I think, just this, my fingers in your ass. Would you like that?”

Poe swore again, writhing against the bed. Yes, fuck, yes, he would _love_ that, as long as Finn didn’t stop, he needed to not stop what he was doing, he –

And then Finn pulled his fingers out, sticky with lube, and Poe almost cried in frustration. “You slagging asshole, what the hell--”

But Finn was laughing, leaning on his elbows over Poe, the head of his dick brushing tantalizingly against Poe. “Maybe we can do that another time?”

Poe’s eyes flickered down to Finn’s dick and back up to his face. He suddenly didn’t feel very angry at all anymore. “Yeah, yeah, okay, just… Fuck, Finn, please, you want me to beg for it?”

“Actually, if you could, that’d be amazing.”

Poe smacked the side of Finn’s arm for that uncalled for sass, which only made Finn snicker, body shaking in laughter as he supported himself on his forearms. “You know, here I am, doing you a favor, and I get this cruel backtalk,” Poe said.

“Oh, you’re doing me a favor, huh?” Finn said, bending down until he could blow a heated breath over Poe’s nipple, making him shiver. “You’re getting absolutely nothing out of this,” he said, teasing Poe’s nipple between his teeth, lathing it with his tongue, flicking his fingertip over the other.

“Not a bit,” Poe said, eyes squeezed shut, breathing through his nose.

Finn chuckled again, kissing Poe’s chest. “So you don’t want me to fuck you, then?”

“So you don’t want to fuck me, then?” Poe countered.

They stared at each other for a few seconds and then simultaneously seemed to arrive at the same decision. 

“Fuck it,” Poe said, waving his fingers in a ‘come here’ gesture just as Finn was reaching for him, their lips meeting in a messy slide. Finn was kneeling on either side of Poe, hands cupping his face, their erections brushing every now and then. 

“How should I,” Finn tried, hardly willing to part long enough to say the words.

“Like this,” Poe said, pushing at Finn until he knocked him onto his back. He briefly considered looking for the lube again and then decided against it, licking his palm instead and stroking it over Finn’s dick.

Finn mumbled something rude and Poe just settled over him, knees astride Finn’s chest. 

“I want to do it like this,” he said. He held Finn’s gaze as he reached behind himself and grabbed the base of Finn’s shaft, lowering himself carefully down.

Poe gasped at the press of Finn’s cock and watched Finn’s eyes roll back in his head as he bared his neck. He let out a string of curses in at least three different languages and Poe was, as ever, impressed by Finn’s vocabulary. 

Really, about all Poe could manage at the moment was, “Fuck, oh, kriff, Finn,” as he raised himself up and sank back down, so slow, so good. He hadn’t been fucked by anything other than his own fingers in longer than he cared to remember and the stretch to accommodate Finn’s dick was just that right sort of almost too much.

Finn’s hands glided up Poe’s thighs, kneading into his ass, stretching and pulling and spreading his cheeks around Finn’s dick. Poe fell into a steadier rhythm, rolling forward and back, and he leaned down so he could lick a droplet of sweat from the hollow of Finn’s throat, kiss his neck, nip at his ear.

“Poe, Poe,” Finn was saying, thrusting up shallowly. He reached between them to take hold of Poe’s dick, twisting his wrist, and Poe gasped into Finn’s skin.

He leaned on his hands again, looking at Finn’s sweat-slick skin, his parted lips, his eyes dark with desire. _I did that,_ he thought. _Just me, only me._

Finn smoothed his other hand up Poe’s stomach in a caress before moving down again, finding his ass. Poe could feel his breathing grow shakier, harsher, his hips stuttering in their movements as he got closer to his own climax.

“Please,” Poe whispered, “please,” not sure what he was asking for, just… just _Finn,_ kriff, Finn, and after so long he could _have_ this, this was something he could have, this amazing, beautiful, brave man who loved him, fuck, he loved him.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” Finn murmured, echoing Poe’s own thoughts. “Gonna come for me, baby? I want to see your face when you come.”

The movement of his hand sped up and Poe couldn’t think, couldn’t – “Finn,” he said, the word tumbling from his lips. He folded over, snapping his hips in tiny movements, feeling tight and full and warm, and he came with his face buried in Finn’s neck, throat catching on a sob that was somewhere between a curse and Finn’s name.

“That’s it, baby,” Finn said, wringing every last bit of come from Poe’s softening dick, stroking his back. He flipped them over, found a better angle so he could thrust home as Poe raked his fingernails over Finn’s strong, muscular back.

It was almost too much, Poe’s body felt like it was on fire, he was so sensitive, but he clutched Finn to him as Finn rocked inside, quick and hard and forceful, until Finn stiffened with a soft cry and then collapsed there on Poe’s chest, heavy deadweight that Poe couldn’t even pretend to mind. He trailed his fingers lightly up the back of Finn’s neck and felt Finn’s lips on his skin. 

“Gonna be sticky,” Finn muttered eventually. “Should move.”

“No, you,” Poe said, not really meaning it. He was fine with nobody moving. Ever.

But Finn was already rolling to the side and saying, “Someone should go in the ‘fresher for a washcloth.”

“Why bother when I can just do this?” Poe slid down Finn’s body, maintaining eye contact as he licked up Finn’s stomach, washing away the traces of his own come with his tongue. Finn let out this long, low groan and clenched his fingers in the sheets.

“Or you can do that, frag, Poe.”

Pleased with himself, Poe settled onto his heels and licked his lips. “I guess there’s still me, though,” he admitted. Even he wasn’t _that_ good with his tongue.

Hell, Finn didn’t even know how good Poe was with his tongue yet. Poe couldn’t wait to show him.

Maybe they could start their morning with a demonstration. 

“You’re not the only one who can show off,” Finn muttered, and before Poe knew it he was on his stomach, Finn pressing his spine down against the mattress. Then Finn was spreading his cheeks and fucking licking into his hole and Poe swore because he was dying, fuck, Finn was going to kill him and he was going to die so, so happy.

By the time Finn had finished, Poe was floating on a blissful high, his body pleasantly tingling. He wasn’t sure he still possessed the ability to move his limbs but he also wasn’t sure he cared anymore.

Finn moved back beside him, pushing him until he was on his side and they could see each other. Finn ran his hand up and down the side of Poe’s waist. 

“Really not a virgin, then,” Poe said.

Laughing, Finn said, “Really not.”

“But… that was good?” Poe didn’t know why he cared so much. Why did it matter if Finn had had amazing sex with other people? Poe had had amazing sex with other people. It didn’t lessen the value of future encounters.

Maybe because… because Poe felt like this had been different. He wanted it to have been different for Finn, too.

“Yeah,” Finn said, his smile soft and sweet. “I didn’t realize it could… It could be like that. I’ve never had sex with anyone I loved before.”

“Oh, babe,” Poe said, experiencing a surge of warmth and love. He kissed Finn’s nose, his chin, his jaw, and finally his mouth. “The first of many, many times.”

Because now that he had this, Poe was determined to never, ever let go.

-

It was sunny and bright the morning they set off, Artorias at its best. A light breeze fluttered through the trees and made the lake ripple. Rey and Luke were leaving, too, though they were heading back to Dagobah for a few weeks longer. Rey had teased Finn about joining her, getting a real start on his own Jedi training, but Finn had said that he would be happy to wait until they were on a planet with a few less swamps, thanks.

“There’s no sand, though, that’s got to count for something,” Rey had said, making Finn flounce off in slightly exaggerated indignation.

Their final farewells with the king and queen took place in the palace courtyard under warm sunlight. Ambassador Lee had given Finn a parting gift, a datapad stuffed full of files on Artorian history, language, culture, government, all the things Finn would need to learn.

She had also pulled Poe aside and told him, “Commander, I know you worry about your… suitability for Prince Finn.”

“Yes,” Poe said, curious where she was going with this. “I’ve been, er, given assurances…”

Ambassador Lee waved her hand. “Of course, yes. I only meant to say that certain difficulties arising from your, shall we say, lack of ability to produce an heir? There are ways around that. I have many suggestions, having had reason to look into it before now.”

“Stars,” Poe muttered, his face overheating. “Okay, great, thank you, I’m absolutely not worried about this other thing I hadn’t even thought of before now, thank you so much. You know we still haven’t even technically gone on a date yet?”

She smiled at him, the expression seeming a bit strange on her stern face. “I look forward to our next meeting, Commander. I’m sure we will have much to discuss.”

“Absolutely.” Kriffing hell. It was a good thing Poe had always loved a challenge because this, this thing with Finn, this was going to be a challenge unlike any other.

Queen Miri kissed Poe on both cheeks and embraced him. “I know you’ll watch over my son while he is so far from me.”

“I won’t let anything happen to him if I can help it,” Poe promised. He would die first, happily.

“Take care of yourself as well,” King Caled said, smile warm. “Finn needs you, I think.”

Finn was squirming in embarrassment but he hugged his mother tightly, letting her hold him for a long time.

Finally they drew apart, Miri’s eyes bright as if she were close to tears. “Contact us as often as you can, even if it’s only to let us know you’re all right, so we won’t worry.”

The hint of surprise on Finn’s face was enough to remind Poe that Finn wasn’t used to the notion of people caring for him like that, that he had never had anyone to worry for him until he met Poe and Rey. Now he had _family,_ the family he was tied to by blood and the family he had chosen for himself.

That made Poe think of Rey, so he gave Finn some privacy and walked to her, noted the emotion on her face.

She smiled at him, weakly. “I’m happy for him; he deserves this so much.”

Poe wrapped his arm around Rey’s waist and kissed the top of her head when she leaned into him. “So do you.”

Rey pressed her face into Poe’s shoulder for a second, like she was giving herself only a moment to be sad for herself and then moving on. “I found my family, too, with you and Finn and Luke and Leia and Chewie. That’s enough for me.”

“And Beebee. He’ll be very upset if you leave him out.”

“And Beebee, of course,” Rey agreed, her smile more genuine. She glanced to Luke, who was speaking with the ambassador. “I know Luke’s not my real father but I feel like he could be, and that’s good enough. Is that stupid?”

“No,” Poe said, rubbing his thumb over Rey’s hip. “No, it isn’t. Hey, you know I love you, right?”

“Yeah,” Rey said, squeezing Poe’s waist. “I love you, too, even when you’re being stupid.”

“Well, good, because otherwise you couldn’t love me very often.”

Rey laughed and then Finn was coming towards them, his eyes a bit red like he might have cried. 

“We should go,” he said, turning to wave one last time at his parents.

“Luke and I will take the other speeder, meet you at the spaceport?” Rey said.

“Perfect,” Poe said, keeping his eyes steady on Finn, who seemed anxious and subdued. As Rey walked over to Luke, Poe took Finn’s hand. “Hey,” he said quietly. “You need a minute? It’s okay if you need some time. We can wait.”

“No, it’s just… I hadn’t expected…” Finn chewed his lip, turning to look for his parents, though they were only shapes receding into the distance now.

“It feels a bit more like home than you’d thought it would.” 

“Yeah,” Finn said. “Yeah, it does.”

Poe caressed the back of Finn’s hand with his thumb. “It’s only a temporary goodbye. You can message them as soon as we get to Yavin Four; I’m sure they’d like that.”

“I will,” Finn said, slightly reassured. “And I’ll be meeting your dad, seeing your home.”

“My dad’s gonna love you,” Poe promised. He knew it was true; how could anyone not love Finn?

They stood there a while longer, facing the palace. A bird swooped overhead, calling, and the breeze wafted over the scent of flowers. It was a beautiful, peaceful place and Poe thought… He thought maybe he would like to call this his home someday, too.

It wasn’t a little house but it would be filled with love and that was all Poe had ever wanted. A life as filled with love as his parents’ lives had been, as his childhood had been.

“Still seems crazy,” Finn said. He waved a hand at the palace. “I was born there. I was born in a palace.”

“You were. And someday this will all be yours.”

“Yours, too, I hope.”

Poe shrugged. “Maybe. If I don’t find something better.”

“Yeah?” Finn said, eyebrow raised. His hands settled on Poe’s hips, pulling him flush. He leaned in, kissed Poe slow and sweet, until Poe’s knees felt weak and he swayed into Finn just to stay upright.

Finn’s words were a murmur against Poe’s lips. “You gonna find something better than this?”

Poe held the back of Finn’s head, grazing his fingertips over Finn’s scalp. “I like to keep my options open.”

“You’re a liar,” Finn said, kissed him dirtier, tongue sliding into Poe’s mouth.

Humming in pleasure, Poe mostly forgot what it was they were talking about. Finn reminded him of the sky, of that odd sensation of safety and freedom all tied into one, like he could do anything he wanted but all he wanted was right there before him. He breathed against Finn’s mouth, cupping his face in his hands, the warm, smooth skin of Finn’s cheeks beneath his thumbs.

Poe rested his forehead against Finn’s and knew that he would never find anything better than this.

**_End_ **

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me on Tumblr [here](http://serceleste.tumblr.com) if you want! Talk to me about these dorks and their stupid, excellent faces!


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